It has been eight years since Hayden Panettiere made the difficult decision to relinquish custody of her 11-year-old daughter, Kaya Evdokia Klitschko, to her ex-fiancé, retired heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko. In a candid interview for Us Weekly's cover story, the 36-year-old actress described the experience as a "living nightmare" that left her feeling utterly powerless.
A Painful but Necessary Choice
Panettiere, best known for her role in Heroes, explained that while she wanted to fight for custody, she had to prioritize what was best for her daughter. "Sometimes that means having to do the hardest things in the world, for their sake," she said. She acknowledged Klitschko as an incredible father and trusted that he was acting in their child's best interest.
The Toll of Postpartum Depression
The actress's struggle with postpartum depression contributed to the end of her nine-year on-and-off relationship with Klitschko in 2018. During that period, Panettiere felt she was "incapable of being a semi-decent mom," which was devastating for someone who had always aspired to be a good mother. According to the Mayo Clinic, untreated postpartum depression can persist for months or even up to three years.
Panettiere admitted that even now, she has not fully processed those emotions in a healthy way. However, she has since rebuilt her relationship with both Klitschko and their daughter. "We're very close, and have had a deep friendship," she shared, adding that Kaya is an "incredible gift" and a remarkable person.
New Beginnings and a Memoir
The actress, who recently came out as bisexual, has channeled her experiences into a 320-page memoir titled This Is Me: A Reckoning, set for release on May 19 by Grand Central Publishing. The book, originally titled Break Free: Addiction, Trauma, and How the Cheerleader Saved Herself, delves into her battles with addiction and recovery after three stints in rehab for opioid and alcohol dependence.
Panettiere recalled a frightening health scare when her eyes turned yellow due to jaundice, and a doctor warned her that if she didn't stop, her body might not recover. Researching liver transplants, she learned that even a transplant might only buy five years of life, prompting her to take her recovery seriously.
Upcoming Projects and Book Tour
Panettiere will kick off a four-date book tour at Barnes & Noble in Union Square, New York City, on May 19. Additionally, UK and Australian audiences can see her in the psychological thriller Sleepwalker, directed by Brandon Auman, where she plays a grieving mother. The film, which has received poor reviews, is set for release in July.
Reflecting on her journey, Panettiere expressed gratitude for her current relationship with her ex and daughter, and she continues to advocate for equality and mental health awareness.
