As MPs depart for the Christmas recess, a collective sigh of relief can be heard across the nation. The tumultuous political year of 2025, described as a relentless series of blunders, is finally paused. Before the politicians retreat to their constituencies, The Guardian has unveiled its annual Parliamentarian of the Year awards, a tongue-in-cheek review of Westminster's most memorable moments and characters.
Investigation Follies and Tax Troubles
The ceremony opened with the Eliot Ness Investigation Award, uniquely shared this year. It was bestowed upon Prime Minister Keir Starmer and Chancellor Rachel Reeves for their handling of internal leaks. Starmer launched an inquiry after an authorised briefing revealed alleged leadership challenges against himself, while Reeves investigated her own change of heart on income tax, distinguishing between a 'briefing' and a 'leak'.
The HMRC Self-Assessment Award had a clear victor: former Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner. The accolade referenced her decision to seek tax advice from a pub acquaintance regarding stamp duty on a flat in Hove, complicated by her disabled son's trust fund. Later hopes of recouping losses via 'I'm a Celebrity...' were dashed as producers deemed her too famous for their roster of C-listers.
Resignation Demands and Toadying Champions
Breaking from tradition, the Resignation of the Year prize went to someone demanding resignations rather than offering one. Kemi Badenoch took the honour for habitually calling for colleagues to quit, sometimes targeting the same person multiple times for contradictory reasons. The list of those she has urged to resign reportedly includes the entire frontbench, though precisely zero have complied.
In the fiercely competitive Toady of the Year category, Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp secured a record tenth consecutive win. Dubbed Westminster's 'Golden Nose in Search of a Bum', Philp was noted for his unwavering flexibility, having praised George Osborne's economic case for Remain in 2016 before becoming perhaps the sole wholehearted endorser of Liz Truss's mini-budget.
Controversial Figures and Unlikely Stars
The Racist of the Year award, now regrettably back in fashion according to the sketch, was presented to Reform UK's Sarah Pochin. She reportedly admitted to needing anti-sickness medication before entering the Commons chamber to avoid a physical reaction to seeing black or brown faces in advertisements or on the government benches. Notable runners-up included Nigel Farage and Robert Jenrick.
Undisputed queen of the TV Light Entertainment Personality of the Year was former Prime Minister Liz Truss. Her antics, from filming a presidential inauguration from a Washington hotel after realising she was uninvited, to hosting a conspiratorially-minded YouTube show edited by a 'ketamine-strung intern', were deemed glorious, bonkers television gold.
Finally, the Overseas Politician of the Year was awarded to US President Donald Trump. The honour was framed as rectifying a Nobel Prize 'error', referencing his claims that the BBC had cost him the peace prize by reporting it had gone to a Venezuelan woman. His acceptance speech, quoted in the sketch, involved claims of ending eight global conflicts and denying ever meeting Peter Mandelson.
The awards serve as a satirical epitaph for a year of Westminster psychodrama, allowing the public to see out 2025 with a wry smile before politics recommences in January.
