A woman who stopped drinking has described how sobriety helped her to be honest with herself and make genuine connections with other people. She had always believed that alcohol made her the life and soul of the party, but later realised it was actually a barrier to lasting friendships.
Writing about her experience, she recalls meeting a friend, Gillian, in a Glasgow pub in 2016. The pair bonded over shared heartbreaks and plans to study in the US, often getting drunk together. The writer admits that drinking was practical for her, dissolving the self-conscious and awkward parts of herself, and helping her to make friends, something she had struggled with since secondary school.
As time went on, she began drinking even when she did not want to, and could not stop once started. She hid her emotional dependence on alcohol in plain sight, turning her sometimes dangerous behaviour into fun anecdotes. However, she eventually realised that alcohol was not the bonding agent she had thought it was, but rather a way of keeping people at a distance.
When she told Gillian she was sober, fearing rejection, Gillian replied, “Thank God. You were a nightmare when you drank.” The writer says that true friends are more likely to be honest than polite. During a subsequent visit to New Haven, the two spent time visiting libraries and museums, talking more deeply and laughing more than they ever had before. The writer realised that friendship requires practice and honesty, and that sobriety allowed her to experience its true benefits.
