In a shift from conventional parenting wisdom, early childhood experts are advocating for a more communicative approach to nappy changes, suggesting they be used as foundational lessons in consent and body autonomy for babies.
The New Approach to Nappy Time
Dr Nicole Downs and Dr Katherine Bussey, lecturers in Early Childhood at Deakin University in Australia, maintain that parents should not wait until their children are teenagers to discuss appropriate touching. Instead, they propose that consent should become a 'normal, everyday part of life' from infancy. According to their article for The Conversation, this philosophy can begin before a child even speaks.
The scientists acknowledge that most parents view nappy changes as a task to rush through. However, they argue this routine care presents a prime opportunity to help children learn about their bodies and the concept of permission. This involves clearly communicating with the child throughout the process.
Practical Steps for Parents
The method outlined by the researchers is interactive. To initiate a change, parents should get down to their child's level and calmly state, 'you need a nappy change,' pausing to let them absorb the information. Following this, they recommend offering a choice: 'do you want to walk/crawl with me to the change table, or would you like me to carry you?'
Critically, parents should observe their baby's facial expressions and body language to ensure they comprehend what is happening. The experts advise against the common tactic of distraction with a song or toy, emphasising that 'It's important children notice when someone is touching their most intimate parts.'
Further involvement is encouraged by asking the child to participate, for example, by saying, 'can you please lift up your bottom so I can slide your nappy out?' This, they say, 'plants the seed of the idea that a child has the right to say what happens to their body.'
Broader Implications and Past Controversy
The researchers also stress the importance of using correct anatomical terms like penis, vulva, and anus. They argue this empowers children with the language to accurately report their experiences to trusted adults. These principles can be extended to other caregiving routines like bathing and changing clothes.
This is not the first time such ideas have been proposed. In 2018, Deanne Carson of Body Safety Australia was widely ridiculed for suggesting parents seek a baby's consent before a nappy change. Critics, such as child psychologist Andrew Fuller, labelled the advice 'impractical,' stating that parenting is built on trust, not transactional consent for essential care.
The Deakin University team acknowledges that their suggestions may add to parental load and are not always feasible, such as during an urgent 'poosplosion.' They encourage parents to 'be kind to yourself if every nappy change isn't a perfect moment of connection.' For everyday life, they recommend fostering a child's independence through simple choices about clothing, food, or activities, which helps nurture their sense of agency.
