Bedtime battles are a familiar struggle for countless parents across the UK, but according to parenting experts, one common phrase might be making the situation worse rather than better.
The Problem With "Go To Sleep Now"
Many well-meaning parents use direct commands like "Go to sleep now" or "Close your eyes and sleep" when putting their children to bed. However, parenting specialists warn that this approach can actually create additional pressure and anxiety around sleep.
Louise Tylor, a respected parenting expert, explains that sleep isn't something children can simply switch on and off like a light. "Telling a child to 'go to sleep' puts pressure on them to perform an action they can't consciously control," she notes.
Why This Approach Backfires
When children feel pressured to fall asleep immediately, it can trigger what experts call "performance anxiety." This creates a cycle where the more they try to sleep, the more awake they become.
Louise emphasises that sleep is an involuntary process that happens naturally when the body and mind are ready. Forcing it only creates frustration for both parent and child.
Better Alternatives For Peaceful Bedtimes
Instead of demanding sleep, experts recommend these more effective approaches:
- Use calming language: Try phrases like "Let's have some quiet time" or "It's time to rest your body"
- Focus on relaxation: Encourage deep breathing or gentle stretching rather than sleep itself
- Create a consistent routine: Bath, story, and cuddles signal winding down without pressure
- Validate their feelings: Acknowledge if they're not tired rather than insisting they should be
The Science Behind Childhood Sleep
Research shows that children's sleep patterns differ significantly from adults. Their sleep cycles are shorter, and they spend more time in deep sleep stages, making bedtime transitions more challenging.
Louise adds that "creating a calm environment is more effective than demanding sleep" because it allows the child's natural sleep mechanisms to take over without interference from anxiety or pressure.
By shifting the focus from commanding sleep to creating conditions conducive to rest, parents can transform bedtime from a battle into a peaceful bonding experience that benefits the entire family's wellbeing.
