A mother who dedicated nearly ten years to raising her children with a 'gentle parenting' philosophy has made a startling public confession: she believes her approach was a significant mistake that she is now working hard to reverse.
The Realisation That Gentle Parenting Had Failed
Jaclyn Williams, a mother-of-two, shared a candid video on Instagram detailing her experience. She explained that her interpretation of gentle parenting, which involved validating every emotion, extensively processing feelings, explaining every boundary, compromising, and avoiding harsh punishments, ultimately produced negative results in her older children.
"I thought I was doing it right," Williams wrote. "Then my kids got older and I started seeing the results in real-time." She described how one child became 'anxious about everything, insecure in their abilities, entitled and emotionally dysregulated.' The other, she said, 'became a people pleaser, suppressed their real feelings, absorbed everyone's emotions and became withdrawn.'
"I cried a lot," the mother admitted, reflecting on her efforts to break cycles from her own upbringing.
The Crucial Difference: Gentle vs. Permissive
Williams came to a pivotal understanding. She realised she had not been practising 'gentle parenting' but had instead slipped into 'permissive parenting.' "A lot of parents do this, there's no shame or guilt allowed here, parenting is hard," she wrote compassionately.
This permissive style meant she overindulged her children, leading them to believe everything was negotiable and that they had no firm limits. According to experts, true gentle parenting, as defined by sources like the Cleveland Clinic, aims to raise confident, independent children by setting healthy boundaries, not by eliminating them.
A New Approach: Switching to Authoritative Parenting
Williams has now adopted an 'authoritative parenting' style. This method focuses on building a strong connection with children while simultaneously establishing clear, consistent boundaries. It is one of four main parenting styles identified by psychologists, alongside neglectful, authoritarian, and permissive.
Research supports this shift; studies have found that children raised with an authoritative style are more likely to achieve academic success. The approach balances warmth and responsiveness with high expectations and firm guidelines.
Celebrity Parenting Styles Under the Microscope
The conversation around parenting styles often extends into the public eye. Forensic psychiatrist Dr Carole Lieberman suggested that Kourtney Kardashian exhibits signs of 'attachment style' parenting, which prioritises an exceptionally close mother-child bond.
Meanwhile, licensed therapist Courtney Morgan identified Kim Kardashian as an example of a permissive parent. Morgan pointed to an episode of *The Kardashians* where Kim expressed a wish to be more structured like her sister Khloé. "It seems as though Kim is facing the challenges of raising children in a permissive household as her children are getting older," Morgan observed.
She suggested that parenting out of guilt or a heavy workload might be factors and encouraged the establishment of kind but firm boundaries. "It may be hard initially... however, it is not too late," Morgan advised.
Jaclyn Williams's story serves as a potent reminder of the fine line between supportive guidance and permissiveness, highlighting the ongoing learning curve inherent in parenthood.
