When Anita Goundry-Smith made her wedding vows to love her husband Gary 'in sickness and in health', the words held a profound and deeply personal significance. The couple were already living this commitment daily, knowing it would define their future together.
A Devastating Diagnosis and a Broken Prognosis
At just 51 years old, a year before she met Gary, Anita received a shattering diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease and vascular dementia. Her prognosis was bleak: a steep cognitive and physical decline, culminating in death within four years. "My life as I knew it was over," says Anita, now 57. The strain of the news ended her 22-year relationship within months.
"Not for one moment did it cross my mind that I would fall in love, marry and not only defy that terrible prognosis, but forge a new and happy life," she recalls. Her symptoms had begun at age 44 with memory loss and mobility issues, but for years her GP dismissed her as 'stressed' or 'menopausal'. Her medical notes even described her as a 'hysterical hypochondriac'.
It took a transient ischemic attack in 2019 and a full stroke in 2020 to finally trigger the brain scans that revealed her dual diagnosis. "I was told to prepare for full-time care and that four more years was the best I could hope for," Anita says. "It was the lowest moment of my life."
An Unexpected Meeting and a Love That Wouldn't Run
In September 2021, a chance encounter in a Spennymoor, County Durham bar changed everything. Anita stumbled and fell into the lap of a man named Gary. "I was mortified, but he couldn't stop laughing," she chuckles. They spent the evening talking and arranged a date.
On that first proper date, Anita revealed her condition, fully expecting it to be their last. "What man would want to get involved with someone like me?" she thought. Gary, 54, was undeterred. "I went into our relationship with my eyes wide open," he insists. "Anita told me on our first date... I already felt a connection."
Despite concerns from friends and family—Gary has grown-up children from a previous relationship—his resolve never wavered. "If they thought I was crazy, they knew better than to say anything. Nothing would have deterred me from being with Anita."
Building a Life and Facing the Future Together
After a year together, Gary moved into Anita's adapted bungalow, becoming her carer alongside his job as a warehouse operative. In September 2023, they married. "The registrar said I was the happiest bride she'd ever married," Anita says.
More than two years since her prognosis expired, Anita's health deteriorates slowly. Gary manages the household, cooking, and finances. Anita volunteers and dreams of creating a local 'dementia hub'. However, the shadow of her incurable conditions remains. Anita has decided that if assisted dying is not legalised in the UK, she will travel to Dignitas in Switzerland while she still has mental capacity.
Gary supports her wish, though he finds the thought agonising. The couple focus on cherishing their time, filled with travel and supporting their local football team. "I have already defied the prognosis," Anita states. "I should be dead by now. And I believe if I hadn't met Gary, I would be."
Their story highlights the reality of early-onset dementia, which affects around one in ten people diagnosed between 50 and 65. It also stands as a powerful testament to love's ability to flourish in the most challenging circumstances, rewriting a narrative of despair into one of hope and shared strength.
