A young woman screamed six haunting words before gouging out her own eyeballs outside a church in a meth-induced psychotic episode. Kaylee Muthart, now 28, lost her sight permanently at age 20 after believing the act would bring her closer to God and save the world.
Kaylee, a former straight-A student diagnosed with bipolar disorder, had smoked a joint laced with methamphetamine and was days away from entering rehab. On February 6, 2018, after taking a high dose of meth, she began hallucinating and walked towards a church, convinced she had to sacrifice her eyes to prevent the end of the world.
As she gouged out her eyes, she screamed: 'I want to see the light!' A nearby pastor heard her cries and intervened, but her eyeballs were already out. She was rushed to hospital for surgery to remove the remnants.
Since then, Kaylee has rebuilt her life. She attended blind school, completed her high school diploma, and learned braille and assistive technologies. She also went to rehab and remains clean. Now a devoted Christian, she wears prosthetic eyes and describes her blindness as a 'blessing' that makes relapse nearly impossible.
Reflecting on her loss, Kaylee said she often wonders what she is missing, such as seeing her cat's colour or her loved ones age. She experiences visual hallucinations, which she views as God preventing her from being in complete darkness.
