Kaly Miller, a sex therapist who has engaged with more than four hundred clients throughout her career, has shared the personal journey that led her to become a surrogate partner. Her role involves teaching single individuals essential skills such as kissing and enhancing intimacy in the bedroom. During a recent appearance on ITV's This Morning, Miller opened up about her controversial profession to hosts Ben Shephard and Cat Deeley, detailing the pivotal moment she discovered her true calling to assist others in experiencing pleasure.
Finding a Calling Through Massage Therapy
Miller, aged fifty-two, began her path in a previous career as a massage therapist. It was during this time that she felt a profound sense of purpose after encountering an advertisement for open-minded body therapists. She described feeling 'called' to help people connect with intimacy, which marked the start of her transition into surrogate partnership. This career shift was not something she had planned, as she explained that no one typically sets out with the intention of becoming a surrogate partner; rather, it is a journey that unfolds organically.
The First Client: A Life-Changing Experience
Miller's inaugural client was a man in his mid-sixties who had spent his entire life grappling with shyness and awkwardness, never progressing into intimate relationships. During their initial session, he revealed a heartfelt reason for seeking her help: he did not want to die without knowing what love feels like. Miller recounted how this client would visit a corner shop to pay with coins, as the only physical touch he experienced was the brief brush of hands with a cashier. He often fantasised about love while observing a woman from his window, yet lacked the confidence to pursue such experiences.
This encounter solidified Miller's belief that she was in the right profession, describing it as her life's purpose or karma to fulfil. Over the course of a year, she conducted monthly sessions with this client, helping him unravel decades of shame and embarrassment rooted in his upbringing. She noted that his generation faced unique challenges, with access to sexual content limited to discreet purchases at shops, fostering a sense of shame around intimacy.
Transforming Lives Through Intimacy Coaching
After a year of therapy, the client successfully broke through his barriers and entered his first long-term, intimate relationship. Miller emphasised that this outcome demonstrated the transformative power of her work, allowing individuals to finally experience love and connection. Her approach is tailored to each client, with progress varying based on individual needs, but she typically requires a minimum of three Zoom consultations before meeting in person.
Professional Background and Safety Measures
Miller's formal training includes a three-year university degree in Erotology, completed in the Netherlands in 2014, which focuses on the study of human sexual love and desire. She further studied under Vena Blanchard, president of the International Professional Surrogates Association, before establishing her own practice, The Naked Room. Her services range from £250 for an hour-long session to £1,250 for a five-hour session.
Safety is a top priority in her practice. Miller conducts free exploratory Zoom calls with potential clients to assess their needs, ensure informed consent, and determine compatibility. She has declined clients in the past, such as a man who joined a call naked. Once engaged, sessions are held at hotels chosen by Miller for safety and professionalism, with clients covering travel and accommodation costs. Strict protocols include the use of condoms, recent STI tests, consent forms, a phone tracking device, and check-ins with family or friends after meetings.
Family Support and Public Perception
Despite the controversial nature of her career, Miller reports that her family is fully supportive, with her children and parents being her 'number one fans.' Her mother even expressed interest in becoming a surrogate partner herself. Miller's openness about her work aims to shed light on the importance of intimacy coaching and challenge societal stigmas, as seen in her discussions on platforms like This Morning and in interviews with publications like the Daily Mail.
