The festive season, with its sensory overload and social demands, can be a uniquely challenging time for the millions of Britons living with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). However, a leading psychologist insists that with the right strategies, it is possible to create a Christmas that is not just manageable, but genuinely enjoyable.
The Festive Challenge for Neurodivergent Minds
Neurodivergent conditions like autism and ADHD, present from birth, can make navigating certain situations intensely difficult. Christmas amplifies everyday pressures: shops become crowded, lights flash, festive music plays constantly, and social expectations mount. Dr Selina Warlow, founder of The Nook Clinic, explains that the shift in daily routines, increased responsibilities, and pressure to meet festive expectations can be overwhelming.
For those with ADHD, tasks requiring sustained focus and forward planning—like choosing gifts, budgeting, and organising the day—pose significant hurdles. Financial pressure is a major challenge, as sticking to a budget can be difficult. For autistic individuals, Dr Warlow highlights the stress caused by unpredictable elements, changes to routine, and the need for rapid social interpretation. The season's social demands, from parties to extended family time, can trigger emotional and physical burnout.
This guidance is crucial amid a surge in people seeking diagnosis. Recent figures show 549,000 people in England were waiting for an ADHD assessment at the end of March, with 144,000 waiting over two years. Similarly, 236,000 were waiting for an autism assessment in June, a 12% annual increase.
Seven Strategies for a Calmer Christmas
1. Master Planning by Breaking it Down
While executive functioning challenges can make planning difficult, Dr Warlow advises breaking tasks into small, manageable steps. Writing a definitive gift list with a clear budget for each item can prevent last-minute panic and impulsive spending. Apply the same principle to Christmas dinner by choosing a menu, writing a shopping list, and breaking the cooking process into stages.
2. Share the Load Through Delegation
There is no shame in asking for help. Dr Warlow stresses that Christmas becomes overwhelming when people feel they must do everything alone. Delegate tasks like bringing a dessert, wrapping presents, or managing part of the meal. This can even become a 'body doubling' exercise—a motivational hack where tackling tasks alongside someone else, even virtually, boosts productivity.
3. Embrace Simplicity
A simpler Christmas is not a lesser one. Removing unnecessary extras, like matching pyjamas, can make the season far more enjoyable. This is especially helpful for those with ADHD, as it reduces cognitive load—the amount of information working memory can hold at once.
4. Schedule Intentional Rest
Actively plan for downtime. Look at your social calendar and schedule quieter days or early nights to prevent burnout. Autistic individuals may need time alone to regulate; creating a predictable retreat with dim lights or weighted blankets can help. If tensions rise, a short walk or stepping away briefly can defuse conflict.
5. Drink Sensibly and Plan Ahead
If you consume alcohol, plan how to manage it. Alternating alcoholic drinks with water or setting a firm limit beforehand (e.g., "tonight I will have two drinks") can support impulse control—a useful strategy given the link between ADHD impulsivity and alcohol misuse.
6. Employ Sensory Strategies
For autistic people, sensory overload can be intense. Noise-cancelling headphones, avoiding flashing lights, and wearing comfortable clothing under festive outfits can help. Given the common co-occurrence of autism and avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), sticking to familiar 'safe' foods at Christmas dinner is a perfectly valid choice.
7. Utilise Neurodivergent Strengths
While facing challenges, neurodivergent individuals bring immense strengths that can enrich the festivities. People with ADHD often bring warmth, humour, and energy to gatherings, while autistic individuals frequently offer sincerity, reliability, calmness, and a talent for creating structure. Celebrating these strengths can make the period meaningful and joyful.
Creating a Joyful, Inclusive Festive Season
Dr Warlow's core message is one of hope and practicality. By acknowledging the specific challenges faced by those with autism and ADHD, and proactively implementing these seven strategies, the festive pressure can be alleviated. The goal is a Christmas aligned with each person's needs and abilities, proving that with understanding and adaptation, the season can be a source of genuine enjoyment for everyone.
