A seemingly simple question posed to the Barefoot Investor, Scott Pape, has revealed a deeply troubling reality for many young men struggling with gambling-related debt and mental health crises.
A Mother's Hypothetical Question
A reader named Sharron emailed the financial advisor with a question from her adult son. He had asked, hypothetically, what happens to a large gambling debt when someone dies. Sharron clarified that while her own family was not directly affected, her son knew men with young babies who were facing such struggles. She also inquired whether these debts would be settled from a deceased person's estate.
The Expert's Stark and Urgent Response
Mr Pape's reply was immediate and stark, cutting straight through the hypothetical nature of the question. He urged the mother to stop what she was doing and immediately speak with her son in private. His direct instruction was to ask him, without flinching, 'have you ever thought about killing yourself?'.
He advised her to maintain eye contact and not fill the silence, allowing her son to answer. Pape framed this as a critical intervention, where the best-case scenario was that he had overreacted and all was well. The worst-case scenario, he stated, was 'too heartbreaking, and too final, to walk back from.'
Treating It as a Warning Signal
Scott Pape was unequivocal in his assessment, labelling such a question a clear 'warning signal' that should not be ignored. 'Don't mess around with hypothetical questions like this,' he warned. He shared that he has spoken to numerous heartbroken parents who would give anything to have that awkward, three-minute conversation with their child again.
His advice was for Sharron to assure her son of her support, no matter his answer. Furthermore, he extended a lifeline to anyone reading his column who recognised themselves in the situation. He implored them to stop suffering in silence and to call the National Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858.
He emphasised that the service is free, confidential, and available 24/7, staffed by non-judgmental professionals who know how to help. 'Sometimes the hardest part is just making the call,' Pape wrote. 'My advice? Do it anyway.'
