Family estrangement, once a private matter, is increasingly being recognised as a widespread issue affecting ordinary families across Britain. Experts describe it as a 'silent epidemic', with more adult children cutting ties with parents and siblings than ever before.
A 2022 Ohio State University study found that 6% of adult children had little or no contact with their mothers, while 26% were estranged from their fathers. In a YouGov poll last August, 38% of American adults reported being estranged from a family member, most commonly a sibling (24%), parent (16%), or child (10%). While UK-specific figures are not available, experts believe the trend is similar.
Psychotherapist Vanessa, who experienced estrangement from her own children, says the pain is profound. 'One day she just stopped answering my messages,' she recalls. Vanessa, who once thought it 'wouldn't happen to me', now understands how easily relationships can fracture. Her children accused her of being a 'nasty person' and cut off contact, leaving her confused and heartbroken.
Dr Kylie Agllias, author of Family Estrangement, notes that the phenomenon is becoming more common. Reasons range from clear-cut abuse to less obvious factors like polarised beliefs about religion, vaccination, or politics. Dr Zena Burgess of the Australian Psychological Society adds that mental health issues, favouritism, and family dynamics often play a role.
Clinical psychologist Dr Joshua Coleman describes parent-child estrangement as a 'silent epidemic'. He attributes the rise to increased visibility and a cultural shift towards prioritising individual wellbeing over family loyalty. Online 'therapy speak' about boundaries and trauma can also reinforce negative narratives, making reconciliation harder.
Vanessa believes people's inability to tolerate discomfort in relationships contributes to the problem. 'They self-diagnose and hang on to it like grim death,' she says. Despite the pain, she hopes greater awareness will encourage families to seek help and heal.
