Approximately 55,000 people in the UK are diagnosed with breast cancer each year, equating to one woman every nine minutes and one man daily. While survival rates are improving—over 95% survive for one year, nearly 90% for five years, and more than 75% for ten years—many patients feel isolated after treatment ends.
Lack of Psychological Support
A survey by the breast cancer charity Future Dreams found that 48% of NHS Trusts lack a formal psychological support pathway for cancer patients post-treatment. This leaves survivors to cope alone with mental trauma, fear of dying, persistent side effects, and challenges returning to work or rebuilding their lives.
Jackie Wright, Future Dreams' lead breast care nurse specialist, says: "Some patients end up feeling ghosted, specifically loved ones, friends and work colleagues, who, unsure of how to react, often say nothing as they are scared of saying the wrong thing."
Phrases to Avoid
Jackie advises against mentioning others who died from cancer: "That is every patient's worst dread. I have lost count of the number of times patients have come to me shell-shocked when a well-meaning friend has spoken to them about a treatment but ended the story with the fact that the person didn't survive."
Avoid saying "you look great" without context. "If you bounce in saying 'you look great' it can leave them feeling like you are minimising the extent of the pain and anguish they are going through. Tell them they look amazing by all means but put it in the context of acknowledging the tough time they've been having."
Let the Patient Lead
Jackie recommends letting survivors guide conversations. Some find phrases like "you can beat this" empowering, while others find them distressing. "You never want a patient to feel they are not trying hard enough to live or get well."
Recovery is rarely linear: "There will always be times when it is one step forward and two steps back." Also, avoid assuming treatment means everything is resolved. "When someone's treatment finishes, don't say 'everything's back to normal.' Breast cancer can change how you feel for the rest of your life."
Check In and Be Present
Jackie emphasizes checking in after treatment: "After treatment is when the psychological impact begins but it is when family, friends or work colleagues assume you are okay. Please check in and ask how someone really is."
Never refer to reconstructive surgery as a "free boob job" or "free tummy tuck." "Most people choose to have cosmetic surgery to feel better about themselves—breast cancer patients sadly don't have that choice, it is something that is done to them. While some patients will use this language, that is their choice – not yours."
Fear of recurrence is real: "Every ache or pain creates a worry that the cancer could be back. It can be overwhelming especially in the run up to hospital appointments, so don't just dismiss people's fears but encourage them not to spiral."
Jackie advises simply being there: "It is okay to say that you don't know what to say but that you are there for them. And let them know that if you accidentally say the wrong thing it is fine for them to let you know."
