A 53-year-old London woman has made a startling confession that resonates with many women across the UK: she simply forgot to have children and only realised when it was too late.
The Fast-Paced Life That Distracted From Motherhood
Nadiya Bekar, an aesthetic practitioner from London, explained that her hectic lifestyle filled with partying, career building and what she describes as a bad string of exes prevented her from making a conscious decision about starting a family. Before she knew it, she had reached 50 and found herself feeling lonely, having never allocated time to seriously consider having children.
The professional kept these feelings private due to embarrassment until recently posting a video on Instagram and TikTok where she admitted: I forgot to have kids and it gets lonely sometimes. With Christmas approaching - a period she finds particularly challenging for childless women - Nadiya received overwhelming support from women who confessed they too had forgotten to have children amidst their busy lives.
Career Focus and Relationship Choices
Reflecting on her earlier years, Nadiya revealed: In my 20s and 30s I was working hard, partying hard - we were all like that. I was meeting interesting like-minded people, there was no time to think about kids.
She also acknowledged her relationship history played a significant role: I also have had a bad string of exes. Part of the reason I never had kids was there was no man I would trust to have my kids. Despite taking responsibility for her questionable relationship choices, she insists she isn't a man hater but recognises her mindset wasn't oriented toward family life.
Nadiya now believes that if she had given it more thought, she would have actively sought a partner suitable for fatherhood. I think maybe if I stumbled across a time and thought okay, let's find a husband to have a child with, then I would have been in such a different position, she admitted.
The Christmas Reality and Widespread Recognition
Instead of family life, Nadiya focused intensely on her career, working to establish her business and pay off her mortgage in central London. She explained she didn't necessarily ever feel maternal, having questioned why women wanted children since she was nine years old.
However, the festive season highlights what she's missing: I realised one day my parents are getting old, my siblings are moving away - that - especially on Christmas makes you feel really excluded. Even when invited to Christmas celebrations, she lacks that family base at home.
Her experience reflects broader societal trends. According to The Institute of Fiscal Studies, the employment rate among women aged 25-54 has risen dramatically from 57% in 1975 to a record high of 78% in 2017, resulting in fewer women marrying and more focusing on employment.
Nadiya has found comfort in the overwhelming response from women who relate to her situation: I have had so many comments back from women who have also worked and not bought into the family life and they feel heard - I feel heard!
Despite occasional loneliness, particularly during holidays, Nadiya maintains no regrets about her life choices. I wouldn't turn back the clock if I could, she stated, I am happy with what I have achieved, the memories I have and the people I have met. She finds companionship with her sausage dog Chilli, whom she considers her fur baby, and has ruled out single motherhood or adoption, believing it unfair to expect a child to fill an emotional gap.
