Model Elsie Hewitt has candidly shared the profound feelings of guilt and shame she experienced after deciding not to breastfeed her newborn daughter, Scottie Rose, with partner Pete Davidson. In a deeply personal essay for Elle magazine, the 29-year-old revealed the emotional turmoil surrounding her choice to use formula, describing a "quiet shame" associated with deviating from what society often views as the "gold standard" for infant nutrition.
The Weight of Societal Expectations
Hewitt explained that she found herself "exploring the moral hierarchy around breastfeeding" and confronting widespread cultural assumptions that breastfeeding represents the optimal, most natural method of feeding. "There is inherent guilt in choosing not to breastfeed," she wrote. "My body is biologically programmed to nourish my baby, and opting out of that can feel like going against something ancient, instinctual, and profoundly beautiful."
Despite receiving unwavering support from Davidson, family, and friends—who consistently affirmed her right to choose—Hewitt acknowledged that external pressures still seeped into her consciousness. "Whenever people asked whether I planned to breastfeed, I felt a flicker of hesitation or embarrassment, even when nothing judgmental was said," she confessed. "Truthfully, I still can't always tell whether those feelings come from others or from me."
Prioritizing Mental and Physical Health
The model's decision was heavily influenced by significant health challenges. Hewitt detailed her history of "years of chronic pain" before receiving a diagnosis of stage 4 endometriosis, which required major uterine surgery. Additionally, she cited "two benign cysts in my breast that cause me discomfort" as factors in her feeding choice.
"I thought about my mental and physical health, including my recovery from surgery," Hewitt emphasized, highlighting that her unplanned pregnancy followed "many years of feeling disconnected" from her own body. She stressed that being "mentally and emotionally okay is not separate from being a good mother," a reminder she often needs to hear, even though formula is scientifically recognized as safe, healthy, and nutritionally complete.
Forging a Sacred Bond Beyond Feeding
Hewitt passionately countered the notion that breastfeeding is essential for maternal bonding. She described an undeniable, "visceral, kinetic bond" with her daughter, formed through pregnancy, childbirth, and nearly a year of sharing a body. "That bond is sacred and grows through presence, not depletion," she asserted, underscoring that connection transcends feeding methods.
A Joyful Arrival and Poignant Tribute
The couple welcomed Scottie Rose in December, with Hewitt announcing the birth on Instagram as "my best work yet," expressing being "absolutely overflowing with love and gratitude and disbelief." Davidson contributed a playful message: "Wu tang forever."
Their daughter's first name, Scottie, serves as a heartfelt tribute to Davidson's father, Scott, a New York City firefighter who lost his life during the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center. This meaningful choice adds a layer of familial significance to their new journey into parenthood.
Through her essay, Hewitt joins a growing conversation about maternal choices, challenging stigmas and advocating for a more compassionate understanding of the complex factors that shape parenting decisions in the modern era.
