A former nanny and parenting content creator has warned that a common mistake parents make when trying to soothe a crying child can actually make the situation worse. Laura Amies, 39, from Yorkshire, shared her advice in a TikTok video that has since gone viral with nearly two million views.
Amies explained that when a child is crying, many parents instinctively hand over the object the child appears to be screaming for, such as an iPad, phone, or toy. However, she argues that this approach reinforces negative behaviour, teaching children that screaming leads to a reward.
Instead, Amies recommends that parents soothe the child emotionally by hugging and sitting with them, rather than giving in to their demands. She outlined several phases of a tantrum, including trigger, bargaining, escalation, acceptance, and detachment. By providing emotional support, parents can help children reach the acceptance and detachment phases, building resilience and patience.
The advice has divided opinion online. Some users praised the approach, with one teacher commenting that they see similar behaviour in the classroom. Others disagreed, arguing that an iPad can meet a child's needs. Amies emphasised that while it is difficult, allowing children to reach the detachment phase is crucial for their long-term development.
