After decades of loneliness and depression, Cathleen Caffrey, now 80, has found peace after identifying as autistic. The California resident had long believed she was a bad person, but discovering autism in her late 70s transformed her understanding of herself.
Caffrey struggled with shyness as a child, reading alone during recess. She held various jobs but could not build a career, feeling unable to schmooze or work in teams. Relationships also failed, leading to obsessive patterns and pain.
She stopped drinking at 30 and has been sober for 42 years, but depression persisted. After retiring in her mid-50s with repetitive strain injuries, she spent hours watching television. During the pandemic, she explored online and found videos describing autism symptoms that matched her experiences.
Unable to afford a formal diagnosis, Caffrey now identifies as autistic. This realisation brought relief, explaining her lifelong struggles. She lives in a senior mobile home park, attends philosophy groups, and walks her rescue dog Petunia, which helps with social interactions.
Her 80th birthday party in July was attended by 60 people, an event she never expected. 'It was the most amazing experience of my life,' she says. Now, she feels quietly happy, no longer driven by external achievements, and content with her life.
