Every day, the Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman offers straight-talking advice on a range of issues from bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use. She has helped thousands of readers and continues to tackle their problems. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Reader's Dilemma: A Promiscuous Friend Threatens Her Relationship
One reader describes her 'best mate' as someone who has slept with dozens of strangers and had numerous affairs with married men. The friend was once caught having sex with her own brother-in-law at a music festival, and her sister's furious reaction was met with laughter. The reader says her friend doesn't care about anyone but her own sexual satisfaction and having a laugh. Now, the friend is after the reader's partner, openly flirting in front of her and even staying over in the reader's bed while she was away for work. The partner claims he slept on the sofa, but the reader no longer believes the friend's excuses, such as an unexploded bomb near her flat. Despite asking her friend to respect the relationship, the friend just smirks. The reader's partner assures her he loves her, but the friend's behaviour is causing distress.
Jane's Advice: Cut Off the Toxic Friend
Jane advises the reader to confront the friend directly and order her out of her life. 'Why shouldn't you shout your head off and order this horrible woman out of your home for good?' she writes. Jane emphasizes that trust is essential for those who enter your home and that this manipulative woman is no friend. She suggests telling the friend that staying over in the reader's bed was the final straw and that she is no longer welcome. Regarding the partner, Jane advises a candid conversation about feelings of vulnerability and asks if there is anything he needs to confess. If he denies any wrongdoing, the reader must try to move on and not let the friend succeed in coming between them.
Another Reader's Problem: Daughter Wants Boyfriend to Move In
A second reader writes that her 25-year-old daughter wants her boyfriend to move into the family home. The daughter has requested two rooms of her own, plus a fridge, cooker, and TV. The husband is furious because the daughter still owes them £5,000 from a gap year when she failed to find a job. The daughter is playing her parents off against each other.
Jane's Advice: Set Firm Boundaries
Jane calls the daughter 'cheeky' and advises the mother to put her foot down. 'If you won't want her boyfriend living under your roof, then you need to put your foot down,' she writes. If the daughter wants new appliances, she must save up herself. Jane urges the mother to be strong and not allow manipulation, emphasizing that harmony and peace in the home are paramount and that she should not fall out with her husband over this.
