Across the UK, a chorus of frustration is growing on social media as women voice their exasperation with men who turn up for dates dressed far too casually. The central grievance revolves around a perceived lack of effort, with many women feeling they put in time and care with their appearance only to be met by a partner in what looks like their bedwear.
The Social Media Backlash
Platforms like Reddit have become hubs for this specific discontent. One recurring complaint, echoed by many, highlights 'the amount of men who don't dress up for a first date.' A typical post read, 'I'm not saying you have to pull up in a three-piece suit but there's so many men who go on first dates wearing outfits that look like they just got out of bed.'
Commenters passionately argue that first impressions are critical. They frequently note the stark contrast between their own effort and a date's wrinkled clothing or old, scuffed sneakers. The plea from many is for the 'bare minimum' – clean clothes, brushed hair, and a fresh scent. There is a particular bewilderment reserved for men who choose a nice restaurant for a meeting, only to arrive in shorts and a faded graphic T-shirt.
This sartorial slackness isn't confined to first encounters. Many point out that even in established relationships, a disparity often remains, citing celebrity couples where the woman is dressed impeccably while her partner wears a tracksuit or hoodie.
What the Style Experts Say
Fashion professionals have weighed in on the phenomenon, identifying the worst offending outfits men can wear while dating. Stylist Heather Jude, based in Vancouver, told the Daily Mail that one major issue is the culture of dating apps. 'With the prevalence of dating apps, men are going on more dates than ever and putting in less effort in general, which can lead to sloppy dressing,' she explained.
Jude emphasised the importance of a first impression, stating, 'Yes, she should like you for you and not what you wear, but what you wear is the first impression and that initial first impression is everything.' Her advice is clear: 'If you want your date to feel excited about your presence you should look like you want to be there. Sorry to tell you but wearing a backwards cap, grey sweat pants, or your gym clothes is not the right first move.'
This doesn't mean personal style must be sacrificed. Jude suggests a favourite band T-shirt can work, but it must be 'freshly washed and ironed' because presenting crisp, fresh basics elevates the entire look. According to her, men should absolutely avoid 'clothing with visible pilling or holes, something you’d never normally wear, and gym clothes.'
The Dating Attire Blacklist
Fashion influencer Annemarie Hereford concurs, strongly advising men to steer clear of athleisure wear unless the date involves physical activity. 'Not only is it becoming a dated look, it communicates that you didn't put any effort in,' she warned. Her simple rule? 'Match her energy by wearing something that at least has buttons on it.' She also singled out 'no-show socks paired with short skinny jeans that expose your ankles' as a particular faux pas, dubbing it the equivalent of 'male cleavage.'
Menswear designer David Vassou provided a comprehensive list of what to avoid. He warned against 'baggy shorts, sweatpants, gym hoodies, or anything overtly branded' as these items are often too casual for most date settings. He elaborated that baggy shorts signal gym wear, not date wear, and worn-out sweatpants can look like last-minute loungewear. Other outlawed items include muscle vests, baseball hats, sunglasses, and gym shoes.
How to Get It Right
So, what should a man wear? The experts offer practical, achievable solutions. David Vassou suggests tapered chinos or dark jeans paired with clean sneakers. For a top, he recommends a 'relaxed but intentional' smart casual polo, a lightweight knit, or a casual shirt.
Ultimately, context is king, as explained by personal stylist Patrick Kenger. The right outfit is entirely dependent on the venue. 'If you show up to a Michelin star restaurant in the heart of Manhattan wearing sneakers and a backwards baseball cap, that doesn't say much about your capacity to recognize and acknowledge the environment,' he noted.
However, the trick is not to overdress, which can be equally awkward. 'It's just as much of a missed mark to show up at a weekend baseball game in a tux,' Kenger advised. His golden rule for nailing the dress code is simple: 'estimate the average level of "fanciness" that people will be dressing at and bring it up one notch.' A small amount of considered effort, it seems, goes a very long way.
