MAFS Expert John Aitken Emotionally Recounts Loss of Colleague Mel Schilling
The Married At First Sight community is grappling with profound grief following the death of relationship expert Mel Schilling at age 54. Her colleague and close friend John Aitken, 55, appeared visibly shattered during an emotional interview on the Today show, where he spoke publicly for the first time about losing what he described as his "partner in crime."
A Devastating and Rapid Loss
"I'm not going to lie, this has been a very, very difficult day for me and basically everyone in the MAFS family and her nearest and dearest," John stated, fighting back tears. "It's tragic and it happened very quickly." He revealed that Mel had been battling an aggressive form of cancer, which ultimately claimed her life despite her fighting spirit.
John shared that he had the opportunity to visit Mel and her husband Gareth one final time before her passing, describing the moment as both "very emotional" and "very special." This private farewell provided some comfort amid the overwhelming sadness.
Remembering a Vibrant Personality
Throughout the interview, John painted a vivid picture of Mel's character, emphasizing her unwavering positivity and energy. "One of the things I loved about Mel was that she was such a fighter… she never complained," he recalled. "Whether she was on set or off set, she was a breath of fresh air, a real shining light."
He elaborated on her ability to illuminate any room she entered, noting her "real vitality and energy" that defined both her professional demeanor and personal interactions. Despite her illness, John emphasized that Mel's spirit never dimmed, maintaining her characteristic optimism throughout her health struggles.
Behind-the-Scenes Friendship
Offering a rare glimpse into their off-screen relationship, John shared cherished memories of their time together during filming. "While you might see her giving a serve to one of the couples on the couch during a commitment ceremony, off set we would often sing, dance, she'd FaceTime her daughter and we'd sneak in the odd lolly or two," he revealed with a bittersweet smile.
He described their decade-long partnership as filled with laughter and lightness, noting that Mel "was always someone who made things a lot lighter. She was very much a glass half full person. We loved her." This camaraderie extended beyond professional collaboration into genuine friendship.
A Professional Legacy and Personal Impact
Reflecting on Mel's professional contributions, John described her as a "real role model" and "voice of reason" within the MAFS franchise. "She was my partner in crime through all of this," he said, referring to their shared experience navigating the show's remarkable success. "I couldn't have done it without her… it won't be the same now. It's very hard for me to get my head around her not being there."
John spoke passionately about Mel's dedication to the show's participants, stating, "She loved love. She was completely committed to the participants… she wanted everyone to get the fairy tale." This genuine investment in helping couples find meaningful connections defined her approach as a relationship expert.
Facing Multiple Losses
Tragically, Mel's death represents the second significant loss John has endured in recent years. His close friend and fellow MAFS expert Dr. Trisha Stratford passed away in September 2023 at age 72, just three years after leaving the franchise. John had publicly mourned Trisha's passing at the time, expressing his heartbreak over losing another cherished colleague.
The clinical neuro-psychotherapist from New Zealand had been part of the MAFS expert panel since its inaugural season in 2015, working alongside John and initially Sabina Read, who was later replaced by Mel Schilling. These consecutive losses have deeply affected the tight-knit MAFS community.
Social Media Tributes and Personal Reflections
John's television appearance followed an extensive social media tribute where he posted photographs capturing their first and final television appearances together with the caption "Where it began and where it ended." In his heartfelt post, he wrote, "It's with great sadness and heavy heart that today I lost my dear friend and fellow MAFS expert Mel Schilling. I am heartbroken, devastated and finding it hard to breathe."
He reflected on their ten-year professional journey, noting, "She came into my life 10 years ago and together we rode this juggernaut, being there for one another through it all. Nothing could prepare us for what lay ahead, but she was always in the fox hole with me." John described it as "a privilege and an honour" to work alongside Mel, praising her warmth, honesty, and unwavering commitment.
Family and Final Messages
John offered intimate insights into Mel's personal life, describing her as a devoted mother and wife who was "loving, committed, loyal, fun and so very very kind." He emphasized that her family always remained her primary focus and driving force, even during her health challenges.
In a poignant conclusion to his interview, John shared what he believes Mel would want people to remember: "You've got to keep moving forward, keep fighting, lean on people that are really close to you, and tell them that you love them." He added, "She just kept fighting, never complained and just pushed forward," encapsulating the resilience that defined her final months.
Mel's husband Gareth announced her passing on Tuesday, revealing that her cancer had recently spread to her brain. In his statement, he spoke movingly about her love for their family, particularly their ten-year-old daughter Madison. Mel had helmed the expert panel of the Australian MAFS franchise for twelve seasons while also appearing in five series of the UK version on Channel 4.
Earlier this year, she had made the difficult decision to step back from filming to prioritize her health and family. John stepped in to complete her commitments for the remainder of the latest UK series as production continued. The MAFS community now mourns a woman John described as "truly one of the good ones," whose absence leaves an irreplaceable void both professionally and personally.
