Psychologists and authors Ross G Menzies and Rachel E Menzies propose that acknowledging our lack of free will and cosmic insignificance can make the challenges of human existence easier to bear. In their new book Being: Why it’s harder to be human than a hamster or a herring, they argue that accepting we are part of an interconnected universe can reduce suffering.
Embracing Cosmic Insignificance
Ross Menzies, who calls himself 'a very old man' by human species standards, notes that a century and a half ago average life expectancy was in the 30s. 'If I can see that I am just one of the 107 billion that have lived, and that I will go to dust like all those before me, it is easier to face the difficult times,' he said. 'Diminishing the self is one of the most important things that we can do.'
Rachel E Menzies, known for her work on death anxiety, and her father Ross have combined five decades of research and clinical practice. Their book weaves voices from psychology and philosophy—Aaron Beck, Heidegger—with ancient and contemporary culture.
The Illusion of Free Will
One of the book's central ideas is that humans may not truly possess free will. This aligns with emerging thinking from philosophers like Sam Harris and neuroscientists like Robert Sapolsky, and echoes Stoic beliefs from ancient Greece and Rome. 'I think Stoicism often gets a bad rap,' Rachel said. 'The Stoic philosophers were working with the emperor. They were politicians. They were senators. They weren’t stepping back from society. They recognised what was within their control, what they wanted to push for and change, and what wasn’t.'
The Menzies see surrendering free will not as rejecting moral responsibility but as reducing pain. 'Once you accept the fact that you are made up of atomic particles that must act in a determined way, that there are distributed causes that are playing out across time, then it is far easier to be gentler to the self and to others,' Ross said.
Challenging Modern Individualism
This counters the modern belief that we can fashion our destinies through choice, rooted in Enlightenment thinking and heightened by capitalism and AI. Rachel said, 'We can still be disappointed by how things turn out, or want consequences if someone did something immoral or illegal. It can be a difficult idea to sit with because we want to blame other people or want to blame ourselves, but the reality that might not be whole picture softens the suffering.'
The Power of the Inner Voice
The book opens by exploring the inner voice, which 'chatters away in our own tonality' and is unique to humans. 'The nature of having this voice in our skull means that it is impossible to ignore it, but we take it to be a helpful voice, we take it as fact, when it is often telling us things that are harmful and destructive,' Rachel said.
Ross added, 'Early behavioural therapy was trying to show people that the inner voice was flawed. All the major thinkers of the last century have told us to change our relationship with the inner voice. The jury is out on the best way to achieve it.'
Social Connection and Belonging
The Menzies argue that humans are social primates who suffer from poor attachment in early life. 'It predicts premature death from all causes,' Ross said. Rachel noted, 'For most of human history, we lived in a village, we worked together. Now we work from home, or don’t have interactions with other people and that creates problems.'
The book advocates for social prescribing—meaningful group activities like community gardens or choirs—over drugs. 'One of [our] central needs is to connect with other people. We need love, we need a feeling of belonging,' Rachel said. 'At the same time, we will never be able to fundamentally connect with another person because they live behind a different set of eyes.'
'That tension is really interesting—the need for love and connection while knowing that we will never cross that bridge is quite a painful thing,' she added. 'But I think there is something optimistic about the fact that we keep trying.'
