A new survey has revealed that parents take greater pride in their children being polite in public than in their academic or sporting accomplishments. The poll, commissioned by children's snack brand Once Upon a Farm, indicates a significant shift in what modern families prioritise when it comes to their offspring's development.
Politeness Trumps Podiums
According to the research, which involved 2,000 parents, more than half value their children saying 'thank you' without prompting more than anything else. Exam results and sports day races fall well behind simple acts of courtesy like using 'please and thank you' in everyday interactions.
Rather than seeing their little ones standing on a podium to receive awards at prize-giving ceremonies, parents report that watching them tell a joke for the first time creates more lasting memories. These seemingly small moments of independence and confidence resonate more deeply with today's families.
The Psychology Behind the Shift
Dr. Maryhan Baker, psychologist and host of the podcast 'How Not To Screw Up Your Kids', commented on the findings. 'The results highlight a fundamental change in what modern families value,' she explained. 'Parents are redefining success through moments that reflect independence, empathy, and confidence.'
Dr. Baker elaborated with examples: 'Think about your toddler confidently trying olives at a café, or your teenager making you a cup of tea just because. While academic and sporting achievements are wonderful, character, kindness, and connection are what truly endure into adulthood.'
Character Building Moments
The survey identified several specific behaviours that bring parents particular pride:
- Just under half of parents say watching their children clean dishes at someone else's house is a personal favourite moment.
- Nearly a quarter feel pride when their children sit nicely in a restaurant.
- Nearly half of parents admit such moments give them opportunities to post snaps of their youngsters on social media.
Other character-building habits that parents value include seeing their child do what is right when a friend is being teased, and persevering at tricky tasks. These moments of moral courage and resilience are increasingly prized over traditional markers of success.
Prioritising Core Values
When asked about the characteristics they most want to see in their children, parents ranked them as follows:
- Kindness
- Honesty
- Empathy
- Independence
This hierarchy suggests a clear preference for social and emotional intelligence over purely academic or competitive achievements.
The Role of Family Routines
Cassandra Curtis, founder of Once Upon a Farm, connected these findings to everyday family life. 'We see every day how food and family routines create opportunities for these small but powerful wins,' she noted. 'From adventurous eating to sitting down together and talking, those are the moments that really count.'
The survey results challenge traditional notions of parental pride, suggesting that contemporary families are placing greater emphasis on character development and emotional intelligence. As parenting values evolve, simple acts of politeness and kindness are emerging as the true measures of success in child-rearing.
