An early years specialist and parenting coach is advising mums and dads across the UK to make three simple but powerful changes to how they speak to their young children. According to the expert, these minor linguistic tweaks can dramatically improve a toddler's listening skills and overall behaviour by helping them feel understood.
The power of specific language over common phrases
Sophie, a parenting coach who shares advice on TikTok, explained that when toddlers struggle to communicate or comprehend instructions, it often leads to frustration and outbursts. She argues that the automatic phrases many parents use can sometimes be unhelpful or dismissive.
"The tiniest changes to the way we talk to toddlers can literally make them understand on a whole other level," Sophie stated. "The difference that that makes to their listening and behaviour are insane." Her guidance, shared in early January 2026, focuses on swapping out vague or minimising language for clear, empathetic, and instructional alternatives.
The three key language swaps for parents
Sophie's first recommendation tackles the common reassurance 'you're fine'. She suggests this phrase, intended to comfort, can invalidate a child's feelings. Instead, she advises acknowledging the emotion directly by saying something like, "You're really upset right now, I'm here." This validation helps the child feel heard.
The second swap targets the ubiquitous safety warning 'be careful'. Sophie points out that while it's a quick reflex, it lacks specific guidance. A more effective approach is to give clear, actionable instructions such as, "Where are you going to put your foot next?" or "Hold on tight to the rail." This gives the child concrete information on how to stay safe.
The third change involves teaching manners. Instead of just instructing a child to 'say please' after every request, Sophie recommends modelling the full phrase. If a toddler says "banana", the parent should simply respond with "banana, please." This repetition technique naturally teaches the polite form without creating a power struggle.
Parental reactions and real-world impact
The advice sparked significant discussion among parents online. One user confessed, "Omg the be careful one. I was terrible. My daughter was everything I ever dreamed of so I have been SO protective... It’s been so hard to step back and let her explore without saying 'be careful'." Sophie empathised in her reply, admitting it's a tough habit to break in the moment.
Another parent shared their own method for using "be careful" as a tonal warning, but praised the overall advice, noting they "always get compliments on how well mannered and thoughtful the kids are." A third commenter highlighted the simplicity of the manners tip, calling it a "game changer."
This expert insight underscores a crucial aspect of child communication: clarity and empathy often yield better results than automatic commands. By making these small but intentional language swaps, parents can foster better understanding, reduce frustration-driven toddler behaviour, and build a more cooperative relationship with their young children.
