Entrepreneur Matthew Mace, 35, from Kent, hid nearly £95,000 of debt from his partner for years, driven by shame, denial, and a fear of her reaction. He finally confessed during a family holiday to Australia after losing his wallet and his last access to credit. Now, he is working to pay off the debt and rebuild trust, urging others not to keep money problems hidden.
The Burden of Secrecy
Matthew, who lives with his partner and their four-year-old daughter, had always considered himself good with money. He had consistent savings and a good salary from his entrepreneurial ventures. However, a combination of business difficulties — one struggling venture and a new one slow to generate income — led him to rely on credit cards. He initially assured himself the situation would improve, but by the time his optimism faded, he was approaching his credit limits and running out of savings.
He told Money Wellness: "Initially I was in denial. I'm proud, if that makes sense. I've always been a good saver, good spender, always very responsible. I couldn't believe that I could be bad with money."
The Breaking Point
The shame was compounded by his partner's disciplined approach to money. He feared her reaction, but hiding the secret took its own toll: "The hurt compounds every day in ways that you don't know." The breaking point came during a family holiday to Australia, when he lost his wallet — his last remaining access to credit. He had planned to pay for the trip on his last credit card, but the loss left him with no choice but to confess.
He recalled: "Once I had zero spending capacity, I was like, 'Oh, I'm going to have to tell her now.' I was sitting in the hotel room in absolute floods of tears and couldn't even say what was the problem. There was a glimmer of hope that, okay, we're going to sort this out together."
Support and Reality
His partner was supportive but practical. "She was very supportive. She said the right things. But she's practical. She said that I must sort it out and that there is no excuse. It’s important to remember that there is no rescuer. You have to figure it out for yourself."
Matthew realised the debt was not just a financial issue but also a relational one. "Once you come clean, there's still this deep lack of trust. I have to earn back trust."
Finding a Way Forward
After seeking help from his creditors, Matthew was referred to Money Wellness, which helped him start a debt management plan. The process revealed the true scale of his debt: £93,000, with interest payments alone hitting £1,800 per month. He said: "Until I'd written it down myself, I had no real idea about how much I was spending just in interest per month."
He has since taken a "nuclear" approach to spending, cancelling all non-essential payments and enforcing strict limits. "I have one coffee outside a week. That's it. That's my limit."
Advice for Others
Matthew urged anyone facing similar struggles to open up to loved ones, as honesty changed his trajectory. He said: "There’s a lot more that can be achieved with someone else on your side." Debt experts at Money Wellness warn that money problems "thrive in secrecy," and Matthew added: "It's never as bad as you think. They're never going to react as bad as you think."
