In the modern world, there is one definitive way to signal that someone has hurt you. It is not throwing a drink in their face or shouting insults. Such overt displays are rarely tolerated. Instead, you cloak your pettiness within the digital sphere, and that means one thing: you must unfollow them on social media.
This phenomenon plays out frequently in the celebrity world. Recently, reports emerged that Nicole Kidman's 17-year-old daughter, Sunday Rose, unfollowed her father, Keith Urban, on Instagram. This came after allegations that relationships between the musician and his children had become strained following the couple's split last year. Earlier this year, similar unfollowing scandals hit the Beckhams, with Brooklyn Beckham not following his brothers, Cruz and Romeo, nor his parents, David and Victoria, on Instagram. This preceded Brooklyn's explosive statement against his family, making it clear that relations are tense.
To those less active on social media, unfollowing may seem innocuous. After all, it is part of generic Instagram behaviour. But as evidenced by celebrities who have done it—often generating global headlines—it still carries meaning. Unfollowing goes deeper than blocking someone. There is a psychology behind it: you want the person to see your profile but know you have chosen not to engage with theirs.
“Unfollowing feels so loaded nowadays because we see social media as a public sign of loyalty,” explains Megan Dooley, social media expert at TAL Agency. On platforms like Instagram, where posts feel personal, following someone is interpreted as endorsement. “So when that link is removed, people aren’t just saying ‘I don’t want to see your posts’, they’re visibly withdrawing that connection.”
Part of the problem is the lack of a nuanced middle ground. You can “mute” someone, but users often detect this when their name no longer appears among story viewers. “We’ve lost that private middle ground,” says Dooley. “Eyes are always on social media, so you can’t just fade out anymore.”
This forces us to read into things too deeply, harming mental wellbeing. “Unfollowing someone is telling them you don’t find your life interesting anymore,” says Ella, 23. Psychotherapist Claire Law adds, “Unfollowing can be seen as a form of micro-rejection. Humans have strong reactions to social exclusion, and being unfollowed can trigger responses comparable to real rejections, especially in a public space.”
For celebrities, it is different due to their visibility. “For a public figure, the following list functions like a visible roll call of affiliations and tacit endorsements,” explains Jeff Sherman, founder of Top Marketing Agency. “When that connection disappears, audiences read it as a signal of distance.”
“A change in follows becomes a narrative hook,” warns Dooley. “The hostility isn’t in the unfollow itself, but in how transparent attention has become.” Celebrities know their actions will be picked up by fans, helping push a narrative. “From a reputation management perspective, unfollowing is often seen as the most overtly hostile digital act because it’s public, symbolic, and easily decoded as rejection,” says Paul MacKenzie-Cummins, a reputation management consultant.
It would be easier if we did not have access to such arbitrary information. But in this society, we draw meaning from ostensibly meaningless things. So, to Nicole Kidman’s teenage daughter, I get it. If you can’t beat them, unfollow them.
