AI Takes the Lead on a Date: A Journalist's Unconventional Experiment
In the fifth week of his ongoing diary series, Rhik Samadder, a self-proclaimed AI skeptic, embarked on a bold social experiment: he decided to let artificial intelligence take complete control of his dating life. This included everything from crafting his online profile to guiding real-time conversations during a date, leading to what he describes as an "uncanny valley" experience in human interaction.
Setting the Stage with AI Assistance
As part of a six-week project where he hands various aspects of his life over to AI, Samadder started by using the technology to write his dating profile. The AI generated a description that read: "Creative type with nerd firmware and a fondness for novelty: new spots, odd museums, spontaneous plans, niche obsessions. Bring curiosity: I'll bring the plot twists." Samadder noted that it made him sound like a character from a Wes Anderson film, setting the tone for the artificiality to come.
Scrolling through profiles, he came across a woman, referred to as A (34, from southeast London), whose profile featured pictures of British shorthair cats and an interest in cat modeling. Despite his indifference to felines, he found her attractive and decided to be upfront about his experiment. He informed her that AI would help write his messages, choose the date location, and provide conversation prompts. Surprisingly, she agreed, noting that many people use similar tools without disclosure.
The AI-Guided Date Unfolds
They arranged a daytime cinema trip, with Samadder consulting a chatbot for outfit advice. Since his date had an English degree, the AI recommended a turtleneck, dark jeans, and boots or minimal trainers. On the day, he sent a message crafted by AI: "Morning! Still on for Marty Supreme? Are you more of a trailers-lover or a trailers-hater?" She ignored the query but confirmed her attendance, mentioning she was rushed and hadn't done her nails, though her hair looked nice. Samadder replied with another AI-suggested line: "Noted. Hair gets the attention today – nails are strictly off-camera. See you 11.20 by the tickets."
After the film, as instructed by AI, he asked, "What was your favourite scene and character?" She didn't answer but suggested lunch. During their walk, Samadder relied on pre-copied AI lines from his Notes app. When the AI advised complimenting her hair since she had mentioned it, he checked with her first and then said, "That hair has pure A24 energy." Confused, she asked for clarification, prompting Samadder to turn away and consult the AI for a quick fix. He turned back and explained, "Ah – sorry, film brain. A24 is a studio that makes stylish, indie films. I just meant your hair has that cool, distinctive 'cinematic main character' vibe – like it belongs in a film." His date pointed out he had used the word "film" three times in a row, highlighting the awkwardness.
Revealing the Limitations of AI in Conversation
Over lunch, she talked about her neighborhood in London. When she went to the bathroom, Samadder fed the details into ChatGPT, which generated an informed but breezy line: "I heard Baird – the early TV guy – lived in your 'hood for a bit. Feels like the sort of fact a pub quiz would punish you for not knowing." She frowned and clarified, "Early TV guy? Do you mean the inventor of the television?" This interaction underscored a quirk of AI-generated lines: they can be weirdly formal or overly casual, lacking the natural flow of human conversation.
His date observed that when he used AI prompts, he appeared stiff and unspontaneous, remarking, "When you say AI things, your legs look shorter." She leveled with him, stating that if she hadn't known about the experiment, she wouldn't have agreed to the date based on his messages. While she conceded they sounded emotionally intelligent, something felt off. She reflected, "The artificial confidence of these lines make them worse than someone who's honestly nervous. You sound like a therapist who's been struck off."
Despite the initial awkwardness, they ended up having a good time critiquing the AI-assisted personality. As they finished their tuna melts, she concluded, "Good luck with the piece. And so you know, I much prefer you to ... that other guy." referring to his AI-driven persona.
Reflections on AI and Human Connection
Samadder concluded that while AI excels at suggesting date ideas, relying on it for conversation comes at a significant cost: it undermines self-trust, curiosity, listening skills, and personal authenticity. He noted that AI has its place in modern life, but in dating, it can create a disconnect that feels artificial and doomed. In his words, "Every day we stray further from God's light, and are doomed," capturing his skepticism about over-reliance on technology in personal interactions.
This experiment highlights the challenges of integrating AI into intimate aspects of life, emphasizing that genuine human connection often requires spontaneity and authenticity that artificial intelligence cannot replicate.
