A middle-aged mother who took up boxing to confront her anxiety has described how the sport 'knocked her out' instead of providing the catharsis she sought. Anna Spargo-Ryan, who has struggled with anxiety for most of her life, decided to try boxing as a way of doing 'scary things' but ended up concussed after a fight night.
Initially, Spargo-Ryan found boxing empowering, training up to six days a week and feeling as though she had 'discovered something about myself that had always been true'. When her gym announced a fight night, she signed up without hesitation, despite harbouring doubts about whether she would actually step into the ring.
On the night of the fight, she walked out to Limp Bizkit's 'Nookie' but soon realised her preparation had been inadequate. 'Everything I knew about boxing evaporated,' she wrote. Her opponent was taller, younger and 'less consumed by existential panic'. During the bout, she exchanged punches and even shared a laugh with her opponent, but then an 'almighty crack' left her seeing 'the entire space-time continuum'.
After the fight, Spargo-Ryan experienced nausea and was assessed by a nurse for concussion. She felt anger and embarrassment, crying on the floor after a friend bought her a burger she couldn't remember eating. Friends told her 'most people will never even get in the ring', but she found this unhelpful, feeling it reminded her of her 'stupidity'.
However, days later, after recovering from her rattled brain and cortisol overdose, she began to feel something else. The experience, though not the redemption story she had hoped for, left her with a new perspective on confronting anxiety.
