A Mother's Timeless Advice: Embracing Life's Unpredictability
In a world often obsessed with rigid schedules and meticulous planning, my mother's best counsel has always been to "play it by ear." This phrase, which might initially seem like a nod to disorganisation or procrastination, is, in her wisdom, a profound lesson in rolling with life's punches. It encapsulates her reassurance that she will always be there for me, even when I stagger home in the early hours, much the worse for wear after a night out.
The Essence of Maternal Support
My mum embodies selflessness, consistently putting others first. Now, at 50 years old, if I venture out for drinks or a gig with my brother and end up crashing at my parents' house, she will still stay awake, ensuring I return safely. Her unwavering vigilance is a testament to her boundless care, a quality that defines her character.
The Art of Conversation and Quiet Companionship
My mother can talk for England, spending hours on the phone with her friend Glenda, meticulously arranging pub outings. At the pub itself, she continues chatting with Glenda and anyone within earshot, often about topics they just discussed half an hour prior. I often wonder how my dad copes with this constant chatter. Like me, he prefers inner musings and might communicate with a simple thumbs-up emoji, finding solace in quieter moments.
Small Details and Big Manoeuvres
The first thing I typically ask Mum when she calls—or on the rare occasion I remember to ring her—is, "Has the milk arrived?" This query might not sound very "play-it-by-ear," but it stems from a practical philosophy: getting the small things in order allows flexibility for larger life events. This dairy-related habit dates back to my first office job, when I still lived at home. In the pre-mobile era, Mum once phoned during a meeting, and the message escalated dramatically as colleagues passed it along. What started as "Rich's mum has phoned" quickly became "Rich's mum has phoned—it sounds important" and then "Please can Rich urgently phone his mum—sounds like a matter of life or death!" It turned out Unigate had missed a delivery; she was merely informing me.
Embracing Flexibility and Forgiveness
By the end of most calls, I often fail to commit to any concrete plans, but that is perfectly acceptable because we agree to "play it all by ear." Do I take advantage of her "let's see how we go" mindset? Not intentionally, but life is inherently unpredictable. Work emergencies arise at the last minute, trains get cancelled, and sometimes, I might have stayed for one too many pints, necessitating a change in travel plans. The crucial part is that I always, eventually, make it back to the parental nest, where I am greeted with open arms and made to feel entirely welcome.
Memorable Moments of Playing It by Ear
This philosophy has led to some unforgettable incidents. The day after my university graduation, I played it by ear to such an extent that I was famously woken up by a train manager after the train had been stored in a shed for the night. More recently, on the past Christmas Eve, I casually rocked up unannounced around 5 pm, leaving ample time to raid the fridge and head to the local pub for festive drinks—with Glenda present, as Christmas wouldn't be complete without her.
A Legacy of Patience and Love
If I could possess even half the patience my mum shows me, I would be ten times the better person. Her ability to adapt and support unconditionally is a gift I cherish deeply. Love you, Mum. Has the milk arrived? And Glenda is already inquiring: what time are we all heading to the pub?
