In the summer of 2000, Danny Stewart could never have imagined becoming a father. At 34, he was living in New York City with a good job in social care but still in a tiny apartment. He had been with his partner, Pete, for just over three years; they were serious, but they did not live together. Becoming a parent was not on his radar.
One August evening, Danny had finished work late and was hurrying to a dinner reservation with Pete. He was rushing towards the turnstile at Union Square station when he noticed a bundle of clothes in a corner. He saw it move and stopped in his tracks. He walked over, peeled back a dark sweatshirt, and saw him: a newborn baby, with the umbilical cord still attached.
Danny was in shock. He sprinted up to the street and found a payphone to call 911. “I found a baby,” he blurted out. He rushed back to the platform and crouched down next to the baby. He stroked his head to comfort him, but the baby pulled a face. “OK, you don’t like that,” Danny said. They stared at each other. His heart was racing.
It felt like hours, but it was probably only a few minutes before the police arrived. Danny had to give a statement and went home for a large drink. He and Pete talked all night: why would the mother have left the baby, why had she chosen to leave him here, in the centre of gay New York?
After a short period of media interest, life returned to normal until 12 weeks later, when Danny was asked to testify at a court hearing as the mother could not be found. To his surprise, the judge asked if he had any interest in adopting the baby. The idea had not entered his head, but instantly, he desperately wanted to say yes. He told her he needed to talk to his partner but, in his own mind, he had decided that was what he wanted to do.
Pete was furious. They had never talked about starting a family. They were in debt – there were a hundred reasons why bringing a child into their lives did not seem sensible. But Danny was convinced.
Pete agreed to visit the baby in foster care with Danny. As soon as Danny saw him, he took him in his arms. “Remember me?” he said. Pete says when he held the baby, every morsel of resistance instantly evaporated. They left that house united.
They were called back to court on 20 December and granted custody. “How would you like him for the holidays?” the judge asked. They bought parenting books and read them cover to cover in 24 hours, and Danny moved into Pete’s flat.
They named him Kevin. Pete had an older brother named Kevin who had died before he was born, and his parents always said he had a guardian angel named Kevin watching over him.
Taking baby Kevin home was incredible but terrifying, as it is for any new parent; but, unlike them, they had had just a day to prepare. For weeks, they took it in turns to sit up round the clock with him to make sure he was still breathing.
They wanted to make sure Kevin knew he was wanted and loved, so they wrote a story for him about how they became a family. He made them read it over and over, and took it to school.
When Kevin was 11, New York legalised same-sex marriage, and they told Kevin they would like to get married. He said, “Don’t judges marry people?” and suggested the judge who asked them if they wanted to adopt him. They were delighted when she agreed to do so.
Not everything has been easy. When he was a teenager, Kevin had a lot of questions about his birth mother. He wanted to put up posters in the subway, and they would notice him looking at strangers’ faces to see if they looked like him. He has made peace with the situation now, though.
Pete has written a memoir, and they also turned the story they wrote for Kevin into a children’s book and had a short animation made. They want other children to understand there are lots of ways to become a family.
Now, Kevin is an incredible young man and they are tremendously proud of him. He works out of state as a software developer but, fortunately, he is still happy to spend time with his dads.
Even 26 years later, they cannot quite believe that, by some miracle, it was them who were given the privilege of being part of Kevin’s life. How lucky they are.
