Valtteri Bottas has opened up about his mental health struggles during his time as Lewis Hamilton's teammate at Mercedes, revealing that serving as the 'wingman' nearly drove him to quit Formula One. The Finn, who spent five seasons alongside the seven-time world champion, disclosed for the first time a two-year battle with an eating disorder and periods of depression.
In a candid piece for the Players' Tribune, Bottas described the 2018 season as particularly difficult. Despite starting the year believing he could win the championship, he ended up without a victory after being forced to sacrifice multiple wins to help Hamilton beat Sebastian Vettel. 'Do you know how badly I wanted to just say no?' he wrote. 'But I had to be a good team-mate. I let him through, and of course he had an incredible season. He was the champion. I was 'the wingman'.'
Bottas admitted that the situation left him with 'complicated feelings' and almost made him walk away from the sport. He also revealed a previous struggle with an eating disorder during the early stages of his F1 career, describing how he became 'completely consumed' by the problem. 'It was like a game to me. I'd wake up and weigh myself every morning, and when I'd see the number go down, I'd feel a deep satisfaction,' he recalled.
The 35-year-old said that during the 2018 season he was 'definitely depressed and burnt out' and 'hated racing'. He considered retiring during the winter break before 2019 but changed his mindset after a long walk in the forest. He went on to win the season opener in Melbourne and secured 10 Grand Prix victories across his five seasons at Mercedes.
After a spell with Sauber and a year off the grid, Bottas has returned with newcomers Cadillac. Despite an uncompetitive car, he says he is 'the happiest I've ever been' and that 'coming into work every day is a pleasure'. He described the opening race in Melbourne as 'the most special moment of my entire career'.
