Valtteri Bottas has disclosed that being relegated to the role of Lewis Hamilton's 'wingman' at Mercedes led to depression and almost drove him away from Formula One. The Finnish driver spent five seasons alongside Hamilton from 2017 to 2021, having joined the team from Williams.
Early Success and Disappointment
In his debut season with Mercedes, Bottas finished third in the Drivers' Championship while Hamilton secured his fourth world title, beating Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel. Bottas recalled starting the 2018 season believing he was the best driver on the grid and destined for the championship. However, he expressed deep disappointment after failing to win a race that year, as Mercedes repeatedly asked him to move aside for Hamilton.
One notable incident occurred at the Hungarian Grand Prix, where Mercedes principal Toto Wolff praised Bottas as a 'sensational wingman' for holding off Ferrari to help Hamilton claim victory. Bottas later admitted being hurt by the remark, prompting Wolff to clarify that the team did not favour one driver over the other. Hamilton went on to win his fifth world title, while Bottas ended the season in fifth place.
Emotional Toll
Bottas wrote in the Players' Tribune: 'Do you know how badly I wanted to just say no? But I had to be a good teammate. I let him through, and of course he had an incredible season. He was the champion. I was “the wingman.”' He added that the situation nearly made him walk away from the sport, describing a return of negative thoughts and self-loathing. 'I was reading too many comments on social media, and I started to become very self-loathing. ... I was definitely depressed and burnt out. I hated racing.'
During the winter break before the 2019 season, Bottas considered not returning. However, time in Finland helped him shift his mindset, focusing on positivity and becoming the best driver possible. He finished runner-up to Hamilton in the next two seasons and third in his final year at Mercedes before joining Cadillac for their debut season.
Eating Disorder Struggles
Bottas also opened up about an eating disorder early in his career. After Williams advised him to lose five kilograms amid concerns about their 2014 car's weight, he became obsessive about dieting. 'It was a dangerous situation,' he said, comparing himself to a 'drug addict.' Despite his body being in 'starvation mode,' he felt satisfied seeing his reflection get slimmer.
He experienced intense foggy spells and heart palpitations during workouts. Bottas recalled: 'I started having these intense foggy spells. ... I would start to feel dizzy and just …., like I had to get out of there.' He admitted being 'in denial for so long' but eventually saw a psychologist, acknowledging it took two years to feel like himself again.
