Count Binface, the intergalactic space warrior and leader of the Recyclons, is contesting the Makerfield by-election with a bold campaign. In an interview with the Mancunian Way newsletter editor Beth Abbit, he outlined his plans to 'Make Makerfield Great Again'.
Campaign Strategy
When asked what he would blame if he loses, the Count replied, 'The voters probably.' He has released a cover version of Cher's 'Walking in Memphis' as his party political broadcast, replacing the city name with Makerfield. Despite not being mentioned in polling, he hopes to secure at least five votes, stating, 'I believe no candidate in British political history has ever scored zero.'
Policy Proposals
His Makerfield Manifesto includes bringing back Ceefax for Greater Manchester, regenerating the Ashton regeneration scheme, renaming HS2 as 'FFS1', introducing price caps on Wigan Kebabs and 99 Ice Creams, and abolishing auto-renewal of online subscriptions. On taxes, he promises to cut taxes and raise everyone else's, suggesting to bond markets that they 'ease how they react.'
Local Knowledge
Despite his extraterrestrial background, the Count displays surprising local knowledge, mentioning roadworks in Ashton town centre, 'The Tom and Jerry' pub, and Wigan Warriors. He explains his slogan 'Makerfield Great Again' simply: 'Makerfield is a place, great means very good, again means it will happen once more.'
Personal Insights
When not conquering galactic empires, the Count enjoys watching the Lovejoy boxset from end to beginning, with Tinker as his favorite character. His perfect day out includes getting a kinky afro, visiting Ashton in Makerfield and Galloways Bakery for a full monty bin lid breakfast, parking at the Gerard Centre, having a pint at 'The Tom and Jerry', and paying homage to rugby league.
