Let's start with a sentence you have never before read in this column: Fair play to the British monarch. Yes, fair play to King Charles for walking into the madman's lair and delivering a speech which stood up for NATO, Ukraine and Britain's armed forces, reminded Americans that their constitution demands checks and balances on rogue individuals and urged Congress to stand up to a sociopath who is trashing their country's reputation and dragging the world to the brink.
But mainly, fair play for delivering it in such a subtle way he fooled the narcissistic man-baby into thinking his every compliment about America and its people was a compliment about him. Sadly, though, it changed nothing. While Charles's cut-glass accent and gentlemanly charm will have reminded many Americans of their fondness for the old country, their hardcore MAGA rulers still believe Britain is a skint, welfare-dependent hellhole overrun with Islamic fundamentalists, foreign rape gangs and wind farms. A hellhole which they hold up as a warning to their base of how America would look if the Democrats were re-elected.
Exploitation and Transactionalism
Rubbing shoulders with the King may have allowed Trump to live out some weird Freudian fetish linked to his Scottish mother, but as with everything he comes into contact with, their meeting was there to be exploited. Within 24 hours of Charles's speech, Trump discarded protocol and threw his non-political royal guest under the bus by claiming that in terms of the Iran bombing 'Charles agrees with me even more than I do'.
This idea of a special UK/US relationship has always been a saccharine Hallmark greetings' card way of saying there is a solid and pragmatic agreement between us based on mutual trust. But under Trump it has become wildly precarious, deeply suspicious and 100% transactional in one direction.
MAGA Agenda and the Threat to Britain
Trump, Pete Hegseth and the rest of their MAGA clan are not serious people to do business with but uncouth thugs pursuing some Rambo-style, white Christian fundamentalist agenda. With the emphasis on the mentalist. Despite the token words Trump read out to Charles about the US 'having no closer friends than the British', that administration would let Russia, or any other enemy, take out our cyber defences, even attack us, if it worked to their benefit.
The truest words we heard this week came from a leaked recording of our US ambassador, Sir Christian Turner, talking to sixth-form students: 'There is probably one country that has a special relationship with the United States, and that is probably Israel'. Which is true because Israel under Netanyahu offers military might, a visceral hatred of the same enemies and a willingness to wipe out civilian populations to achieve foreign policy goals and hoover up precious land and resources. Before Trump, Washington and London shared a common worldview. Now they don't. Because we offer little that they need.
King's Speech: Polished but Powerless
The King's speech was polished, astute and bold. But his state visit has changed nothing between Trump and Britain. Despite him dropping his whisky tariff, our economy is still set for a possible £100 billion hit due to the rest of tariffs and his attack on Iran. While he or his MAGA disciples are in the White House, Britain can only ever be in an abusive relationship. A counsellor's advice would be to ditch it and try to seek out allies we can be in a healthy one with.
