Sleepovers, solo shopping trips, and late nights out with friends – these everyday milestones help British youngsters feel like they are coming into their own, according to new research commissioned by TUI and supported by television personality and mother Josie Gibson. The study, which produced the UK's first-ever Childhood Independence Index, finds that parental trust and self-confidence are the true foundations of childhood independence.
Trust and Confidence Drive Independence
More than four in 10 children (41%) say that being trusted by their parents makes them feel independent, while 36% link independence with confidence, the research reveals. The index draws on a study of 1,000 UK parents and 1,000 children aged 10 to 15, examining the childhood moments that make youngsters feel truly grown up, the ages at which they believe they should first be trusted with those milestones, and the emotions those moments stir up for parents.
Rather than one defining event, the research suggests that growing up is shaped through dozens of small firsts – from making your own purchases and walking to school to spending pocket money or staying at a friend's house for the very first time. For parents, however, the shift often arrives in one quiet, emotional moment when they realise their child no longer needs them quite as much as before.
Children's Voices: Focus Group Insights
To delve deeper into the topic, Josie Gibson teamed up with TUI to host a lively focus group with children aged four to eight, asking what makes them feel like "big kids" and the things they can't wait to do on their own. Captured on camera, the children's responses closely reflected the survey findings, with trust emerging as the central theme running through both strands of research.
Gibson, a 41-year-old This Morning presenter who has a seven-year-old son named Reggie, said she was "left in stitches" listening to the children's stories. "They all had completely different ideas about what made them feel grown up," she said. "Some were excited about ordering their own food, others just loved being trusted to do things on their own, and one savvy seven-year-old was already talking about investing in Premium Bonds. I thought, blimey – good on him! It was hilarious, but underneath it, they were all saying the same thing – they just want to be trusted and given a little more independence."
Milestone Ages: When Children Feel Ready
The Childhood Independence Index ranked some of the biggest milestones in growing up, asking older children at what age they believed youngsters should first be trusted with each achievement. Walking around a holiday resort alone came out as the earliest milestone, with children feeling ready from around the age of seven. Staying at a friend's house followed at eight, while staying out later with friends came in at nine.
Ten proved to be a landmark age, with children saying they felt ready to travel short distances alone, walk to school, pop into a shop by themselves, spend their own pocket money, and own their first mobile phone.
Parental Emotions and Holiday Independence
Like Josie, many parents described childhood independence as a mixture of pride, excitement, and sadness. One parent said they realised their child was growing up "when they no longer wanted to hold my hand," while another recalled the day their daughter "walked into school without turning back to wave." For many parents, letting go isn't always easy – but holidays appear to make it feel a little easier.
Almost six in 10 parents (58%) said they feel more comfortable giving children greater independence while away, while more than three quarters (77%) admitted relaxing everyday rules on holiday, with bedtimes, spending money, and screen time among the first boundaries to soften. Meanwhile, almost two thirds (63%) of children said they feel more independent on holiday, with many saying travelling gives them more opportunities to try new things, make their own decisions, and take on new responsibilities.
To celebrate those milestone moments, TUI has launched its My Holiday Firsts Passport, available in selected stores while stocks last, encouraging children to record every holiday first – from trying new foods and making new friends to taking on exciting new adventures.
