Seth Meyers took aim at Donald Trump's bizarre priorities and obsessions as many Americans continue to struggle with rising costs. On Late Night, the host said that despite the failing US economy, the president is instead 'laser-focused' on 'important stuff' such as 'magnetic catapults and sperm counts'.
He replayed footage of Trump during his 2024 campaign where he promised to end inflation and lower the cost of gas and groceries, all of which he has failed at. Instead, Meyers joked that he has been bringing germs back 'very strongly' with the outbreak of the much-publicised explosive diarrhea virus.
Trump's Groceries Obsession
Meyers pointed out that the way that Trump brings up groceries suggests that 'he just found out about groceries' and after he got into office, 'his collection of internet-poisoned weirdos got obsessed with weird shit' rather than the important issues.
He reminded viewers of how the health secretary, Robert F Kennedy Jr, lectured anyone and everyone about the low sperm count of teenagers. 'Is there an erotic fiction section in AARP magazine?' he asked, before also asking: 'Are you a gym teacher subbing in for health class?'
Testosterone and Military
Meyers moved on to the defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, who 'doesn't have much else going on' so has decided to focus on testosterone levels in the military which he now wants checked annually. 'What about the war in Iran?' he asked. 'Is testosterone gonna fix the war in Iran?'
He called it all 'insane' as the war has 'no end in sight' but then moved on to Trump and his 'very sane, very normal' obsession with aircraft carriers.
Wet Magnets Rant
Footage from a press conference this week saw the president rage about wet magnets and the use of electric catapults rather than steam ones, 'a long-running obsession for Trump'. 'I've never seen someone get this worked up about a fucking magnet,' Meyers said. He also doubted whether getting magnets wet would lead to any sort of problem. 'You're thinking of cellphones or gremlins,' he said.
Meyers added: 'You might want Pete Hegseth to check your testosterone levels.'
White House Grift
This week has also seen reports that a teleprompter operator in the White House has made $100,000 on Kalshi betting on Trump speeches. 'Everyone's getting their grift on in the Trump White House!' he said.
He then criticised the 'pointless and costly war' and despite Trump saying that there was a deal no fewer than 38 times, there is still no deal. 'Send RFK Jr in there to talk about sperm counts and they'll surrender in like five minutes,' he suggested.
Americans 'just want life to be more affordable' yet 'every day is a constant stream of humiliation, scandals and bizarre obsessions with catapults, teleprompters and testosterone'.
