A 32-year-old woman has written to Coleen seeking dating advice after repeatedly finding herself in relationships with men she describes as "losers," "selfish," or "immature." She recently ended a four-month relationship with a man who, despite initially seeming normal and cute, revealed plans to sell his house, quit his job, and travel Europe in a camper van—without including her.
Pattern of Disappointment
The woman explains that she always enters relationships with high hopes and positivity, but is consistently let down. "I just seem to be attracted to, and to attract, the wrong sort of man," she writes. "I want to meet a life partner but I’m starting to lose all hope that he’s out there."
Coleen's Advice
Coleen responds by reframing the issue: the recent ex is not necessarily a loser, but the situation highlights the importance of discussing each partner's relationship goals early on. "You might think that’s a bit heavy at the start of a relationship but it’s more important than you think," Coleen says. She advises having a conversation about hopes and dreams for the future once things start feeling serious, to avoid wasting time on mismatched priorities such as marriage, children, or travel.
Consider Age and Criteria
Coleen also suggests considering the age of the men being dated—if they are in their 20s, they may not be at the same life stage. She encourages the reader to keep her specific criteria in mind when weighing up dates and not to lose faith. The advice appears in the Daily Record.
