BBC Gardeners' World presenter Monty Don has candidly discussed the complex and challenging beginning of his relationship with his wife, Sarah Erskine, revealing he fell in love with her while she was still married to another man.
A Complicated Cambridge Beginning
The renowned gardening expert first met Sarah when they were both students at Cambridge University. Monty admitted he felt an "intense attraction" upon meeting her, though he clarified it was not love at first sight. The situation was complicated by the fact that Sarah was already in a relationship with a man whom Monty knew well from riding together.
"Her husband was someone that I rode with and knew very well, and that was the case for about six months when I'd meet them socially," Monty explained during a 2023 appearance on the White Wine Question Time podcast. He recalled questioning why the woman he felt so magnetically drawn to was with someone else.
The Turning Point and a Difficult Choice
The dynamic between Monty and Sarah shifted when her husband, a wealthy botanist, embarked on a four-month field trip. During this period, their bond deepened in what Monty described as a "completely platonic, innocent way". As their feelings grew stronger, Sarah faced an agonising decision.
"It turned out that we both felt the same way. But she was married to someone else and so it was very difficult," Monty revealed. Sarah ultimately decided to leave her husband, a choice that created what Monty called a "difficult, unhappy, tormented set-up" for about six months, as her former husband felt understandably betrayed and angry.
Building a Life Together
Despite the turbulent start, Monty and Sarah married in 1983 at Finsbury Registry Office in London, following a proposal on a remote Scottish island. Their wedding was a modest affair, consisting of a ceremony and a lunch at L'Escargot restaurant, with no honeymoon.
Reflecting on his actions, Monty acknowledged feeling "a bit guilty" but also recognised a necessary ruthlessness in matters of the heart. The couple have now been married for over four decades and have built a family together, raising three children who have since given them several grandchildren.
While acknowledging the pain caused at the beginning of their relationship, Monty stands by their decision, embodying the sentiment that all is fair in love and war when it comes to following one's heart.
