As December rolls around, the familiar soundtrack of the season returns with a vengeance. Mariah Carey's annual defrosting is complete, and the charts are once again dominated by festive tunes as immovable as the giant star atop the Rockefeller Center tree. While classics like 'Fairytale of New York' and James Brown's 'Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto' deserve their place, the airwaves are often clogged with saccharine schmaltz capable of inducing a sugar coma.
Thankfully, the season doesn't have to be defined by musical cheese. A rebellious strand of rock 'n' roll has long infiltrated the Christmas canon, offering a potent antidote to the usual fare. From Bruce Springsteen's raucous 'Santa Claus Is Coming to Town' to The Darkness's cheeky 'Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)', guitar heroes have proven they're not above writing a letter to Santa—or perhaps Satan. For those seeking to blast away the Christmas cobwebs, here are ten hard-rocking festive anthems to energise your holiday.
Satire, Supergroups & Seasonal Metal
Not all Christmas songs are about goodwill to all men. Some, like AC/DC's 1990 track 'Mistress for Christmas', are pointed satires. With its sleazy riff and lyrics about "female form in minimum dress," casual listeners might miss its target. Guitarist Angus Young revealed in 1991 the song was about Donald Trump, whose affair with Marla Maples and subsequent divorce made him tabloid fodder. "He was big news at the time, so we thought we'd have a bit of fun and humour with it," Young told Guitar World.
In a startling late-career pivot, the legendary actor Christopher Lee embarked on a heavy metal music journey. At the age of 90 in 2012, he released the EP 'A Heavy Metal Christmas', featuring a thunderous, doom-laden version of 'The Little Drummer Boy'. His follow-up, 'A Heavy Metal Christmas Too', included 'Jingle Hell', which made him, at 91 years and 6 months, the oldest person ever to chart in the Billboard Top 20.
The short-lived supergroup The Greedies—featuring Thin Lizzy's Phil Lynott and Sex Pistols Steve Jones and Paul Cook—released only one single in 1979: 'A Merry Jingle'. This punk-infused mash-up of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' and 'Jingle Bells', propelled by Lynott's charismatic delivery, remains a cult favourite.
Punk Pleas & Prescient Tragedy
The Ramones' 1987 track 'Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)' is a poignant punk plea for seasonal truce. With its innocent lyrics about children dreaming of sugarplum fairies, it contrasts sharply with the band's internal strife, notably between Joey and Johnny Ramone. The song's heartfelt desire for peace—"Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's hearts"—resonated deeply.
A darker note is struck by Finnish glam rock pioneers Hanoi Rocks. Their December 1981 single 'Dead By X-Mas' is an upbeat yet nihilistic tune that proved tragically prescient. Just weeks before Christmas 1984, drummer Razzle (Nicholas Dingley) was killed instantly in a car crash in California while riding with Mötley Crüe's Vince Neil.
For a masterclass in rock 'n' roll Christmas spirit, look no further than Keith Richards's 1978 cover of Chuck Berry's 'Run Rudolph Run'. Richards, a devoted Berry disciple, called it "the hippest Christmas song that there is" and recorded his version purely "out of sheer fun." Its joyful, driving rhythm remains unmatched.
Operatic Depths & Demonic Celebrations
Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford, with his signature white beard, has fully embraced the festive season. Of his many Christmas recordings, his 2009 metal rendition of the traditional carol 'We Three Kings' stands out. It transforms the 1857 hymn into a blistering track complete with searing guitar solos and his iconic vocal power.
The legendary spoof band Spinal Tap delivered a classic with 'Christmas With the Devil' from their 1992 album 'Break Like The Wind'. With backing vocals from The Eagles' Timothy B. Schmit, they paint a memorably hellish holiday scene: "The elves are dressed in leather / And the angels are in chains."
Twisted Sister's entire 2006 album 'A Twisted Christmas' is a gift, but 'Heavy Metal Christmas' is a highlight. It reimagines 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' with gifts like a "tattoo of Ozzy", staying true to the band's loud, proud ethos.
Finally, The Who incorporated the holiday into high art with 'Christmas' from their 1969 rock opera 'Tommy'. The song, featuring Keith Moon's dramatic drums and Roger Daltrey's soaring vocals, uses Christmas morning to ponder profound questions of faith and salvation for its deaf, dumb, and blind protagonist.
This collection proves that the festive season can be celebrated with just as much power chord as peace on earth. For those weary of the usual sonic tinsel, these ten tracks offer a welcome, roaring alternative.
