Martin Harrington of Kennington, Oxfordshire, has written to the Guardian to express his dismay at the removal of the 'smarty pants' insult from the newspaper's online word game Wordiply. He notes that finding a rare long word now prompts a bland 'congratulations' rather than the cheerful taunt he once enjoyed. Harrington suggests reviving the term 'clever clogs' as a substitute, describing 'congratulations' as 'as cheering as a damp handshake'.
In other letters, Richard Elliott of Nottingham comments on a report about early berry ripening, linking it to folklore that Satan urinates on blackberries on Michaelmas Day (29 September). He quips that age-related incontinence may be affecting the devil, given the early ripening observed this year.
Gwyneth Boswell of Norwich responds to a previous letter about the difficulty of calling a xenophobe a xenophobe, proposing the alternative 'xylophone' as a playful substitute, inspired by a protester against Plasticine Action.
Paul McGilchrist of Cromer, Norfolk, remarks on the ban on police dancing at the Notting Hill carnival, noting that carnival police 'never could keep the beat' and that it is just as well they are now commanded to maintain it.
Keith Flett, aged 68, of Tottenham, London, comments on a suggestion of a curfew for the over-65s, warning that if an exception is not made for visits to Wetherspoon's pubs, there will be a revolution.
