As the nation prepares for festive cheer, one of London's most prominent socialites has delivered a scathing verdict on modern Christmas celebrations, branding them utterly 'common'. Nicky Haslam, the 86-year-old interior designer and arbiter of taste, has declared his hatred for the season's most cherished customs, from wishing people a 'Happy Christmas' to the traditional turkey dinner.
A Solitary and Sophisticated Christmas
Nicky Haslam plans to spend Christmas Day completely alone, preferring solitude to what he considers vulgar celebrations. The Eton-educated designer told The Times he would rather be 'Alone. Asleep. Doing nothing' than participate in festivities he finds lacking in sophistication. He lamented that London loses its sense of celebration during the holiday period as seasoned locals escape to snowy slopes or Caribbean beaches. 'One's friends just aren't around and that ruins the whole point of present-giving,' he explained.
The Definitive List of Festive Faux Pas
Haslam provided a detailed critique of Christmas traditions that fail to meet his exacting standards. He cannot bear sitting through lengthy turkey dinners with all the trimmings, declaring there's 'far too much food anyway'. When it comes to gifts, he insists they should be exchanged on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day, and wrapped exclusively in silk or velvet ribbon - supermarket paper simply won't suffice.
His disapproval extends to decorations as well. While he approves of artificial trees and garlands featuring hand-harvested ivy, he detests holly with its red berries and believes Christmas needs no colour. White lights should never flash, and baubles belong strictly on trees. 'And they must come from Russia,' he added, 'the Russians make the best Christmas decorations.'
The Common List Tea Towel Tradition
Haslam recently released his seventh Common List tea towel, priced at £50 or £70 for signed and personalised versions. The cloth features what the Cotswolds-based octogenarian considers lower class, including Nobel Prizes, Stonehenge, striped socks, and phrases like 'Let's have a little listen' and 'What's not to like?'.
His list of common traits extends to referring to The Spectator as 'The Speccie', saying 'travelling' instead of 'going', and individuals including actor Stephen Fry and TV presenter Dan Snow. More understandably, air fryers, Kilner jars, lanyards, and nduja also make this year's list. Clapping the chef after a meal, leg room, and playing Wordle or sudoku were equally frowned upon by the designer, whose clients have included Sir Mick Jagger and Sir Rod Stewart.
Despite his position as an arbiter of polite society, Haslam has previously expressed admiration for Primark, praising their 'three perfect T-shirts in a pack for £9' that 'last for years'. This contradiction highlights the complex nature of modern taste-making, even from someone who claims Princess Margaret's husband Lord Snowdon was once his lover and counts Queen Camilla among his friends.
