In a blind taste test of 39 supermarket mustards, Nicholas Jordan and six volunteers rated them on appearance, aroma, taste, and intensity, with the most intense described as 'an excellent torture device'. The final scores were heavily weighted towards taste, and wholegrain mustards were also scored for texture. The test was conducted in four rounds: dijon, wholegrain, hot English, and a miscellaneous category for American and Australian mustards.
Mustard Intensity and Flavour Spectrum
Jordan, who wrote about the experience, noted that mustards should be intense, shocking the taste buds like a bed of nails. He expressed a preference for mustards that taste like mustard seeds, the ingredient they're based on. The supermarket mustards provided a full gamut of experiences, from turmeric-heavy 'health' food pastes to timid mustards barely identifiable as mustard, and others so nuclear they're close to inedible without a sausage.
Generally, most dijon mustards were excellent, particularly the more expensive brands. Wholegrain mustards were the opposite, with almost all the cheapest brands scoring far better than expensive, imported rivals. American and Australian mustards were a mixed bag, with a recommendation to stick to Heinz and Masterfoods. Hot English mustards, besides two brands, were nowhere near hot enough.
Brand Inconsistency and Price vs. Enjoyment
Jordan found brands incredibly inconsistent, noting that one producer, Beerenberg, had a mustard place in both the top and bottom thirds. The taste test also included three brands with limited availability – Edmond Fallot, Chef's Choice, and Newman's – to compare supermarket brands with more expensive options. There was no significant relationship between price and enjoyment; Edmond Fallot scored particularly well, while Newman's scored particularly badly.
After tasting all 39 mustards, Jordan reported that his stomach brewed like the cauldron of a naughty witch and his head throbbed like an orchestra of car alarms. He expressed guilt for including six others in the mission, thanking them for their participation.
Top Mustards and Notable Mentions
The best dijon mustard was Beerenberg Dijon Mustard, scoring 8.5/10 with an intensity of 7.5/10, praised for its strength of mustard seed flavour and savoury, almost oniony aftertaste. Maille Traditional Dijon Mustard also scored 8.5/10, described as the platonic ideal of dijon mustard, though it couldn't surprise. The best wholegrain mustard was Masterfoods Wholegrain Mustard, scoring 8.5/10, with full, individual grains and a delightful pop.
The most intense English mustards were Masterfoods Hot English Mustard, scoring 6.5/10 with an intensity of 10/10, described as 'an excellent torture device', and Beerenberg Hot English Mustard, scoring 7/10 with an intensity of 9/10, noted for its long-lasting burning sensation and red flecks. Good-value mustards included Colway Wholegrain Mustard at Aldi, scoring 8/10, and Your Condiment Co Mustard Dijon at Woolworths, scoring 7.5/10. Other notable mustards included Masterfoods Australian Mustard, scoring 8/10, and Woolworths Mild American Mustard, scoring 3/10, described as 'yellow nothing'. Coles Hot English Mustard scored 4.5/10, and Kühne Traditional German Mustard scored 3/10, with one reviewer writing, 'Revoke their mustard licence'.
