A 19-year-old woman is contemplating marriage to her 28-year-old boyfriend of two years, despite concerns about her age and her aunt's potential disapproval. The reader, who experienced a traumatic childhood with alcoholic parents, describes her boyfriend as stable, sensible, and a source of happiness and safety.
Background and Relationship
The reader is an only child whose father died when she was 10, after which her mother's alcoholism worsened. She moved in with her aunt, whom she views as a mother figure. She is no longer in contact with her mother. Her boyfriend, who has a good job, makes her feel secure, and they enjoy a fun relationship despite the nine-year age gap.
She plans to finish university and start her career even if she marries, but she worries that her aunt might be disappointed due to her youth. She acknowledges that none of her friends are considering marriage and seeks advice on whether anyone is ready at 19.
Coleen's Advice
Coleen advises the reader to pause and consider if she is rushing into marriage for security after her traumatic past. She emphasizes that if the boyfriend is the right person, he will support her regardless of marital status. Coleen shares her own experience of marrying at 21 and notes that her daughter waited until 26 to marry, having met her fiancé as a teenager.
Coleen suggests the reader ask herself why she is in a rush and expect similar questions from her aunt and friends. She recommends talking to her aunt and being open to her opinion, even if it differs. Waiting a couple of years, if the relationship is genuine, will not change its strength.
Finally, Coleen reminds the reader to reflect on her achievements and recognize the security she already has from her aunt, friends, and boyfriend. She encourages her to be proud of her progress.
