For many, family photo albums are treasured repositories of happy memories. But for writer Ammar Kalia, they became a source of bittersweet pain following the death of his mother in 2013. While images featuring her reminded him of her vibrant spirit, those without her only highlighted a profound absence. Yet, one particular photograph, perched on his desk, transcends this painful duality, serving as a powerful testament to the unbreakable bond he shares with his older brother.
A Brother's Dual Role: Conspirator and Guardian
Ammar's only sibling is seven years his senior, a gap that has forever cast him in a unique dual role. He has been a willing co-conspirator, unveiling life's secrets—from the truth about Santa Claus to the mechanics of sex—and offering a first illicit sip of beer. Simultaneously, he has acted as a protective, quasi-parental figure. This was never more evident than when their mother was diagnosed with cancer. Ammar was just 15 years old, while his brother was a 22-year-old medical student.
"He was already a 22-year-old medical student, able to speak in a doctor’s shorthand and advocate for her care while my father and I floundered," Ammar recalls. This protective instinct also surfaced when he discovered a teenage Ammar sneaking cigarettes, chastising him before their parents could.
The Photo That Escapes the Grief
Amidst the albums filled with poignant reminders, one image stands apart. It captures Ammar, aged around six, and his brother, about 13, in the mid-to-late 1990s. The setting is the spare room of their grandparents' house in Hounslow, perched on a lurid bedspread. The centrepiece of the frame, however, is a bootleg calendar image of supermodel Cindy Crawford, which they smile goofily from either side of.
"It’s as 90s and absurd as it sounds," Ammar notes, admitting he has no memory of why the photo was taken. The joy of the picture lies not in its context but in what it represents: a pure, unfiltered snapshot of their sibling relationship. The older brother likely understood the calendar's 'special' status, while young Ammar was simply happy to be included in the fun.
A Reminder of a Shared World
This single frame evokes the private world the two brothers built together—a world of shared video games, late-night TV, and cruising in his brother's Fiat blasting UK garage tunes. Critically, their mother was not present in those moments or in this specific picture. "This was a space for just us," Ammar explains.
That quality is what now makes the photograph so precious. In the wake of their mother's passing, it is not a reminder of loss but a celebration of what remains. It symbolises the enduring, goofy connection that has sustained them through life's challenges. The photo on his desk is a daily affirmation that, despite the profound absence left by their mother, they still have each other.
The image, a testament to resilience and the unique language of siblings, proves that some memories are not anchors to past pain but lifelines to present love.
