Stephen Fry Issues Defiant Response to Age-Gap Marriage Critics
Stephen Fry has delivered a characteristically blunt and defiant message to those who criticise his marriage to husband Elliott Spencer, who is three decades his junior. The celebrated British actor, writer, and presenter, aged 68, made his remarks during an appearance on the second series of ITV's groundbreaking programme, The Assembly.
A Candid Exchange on National Television
The format of The Assembly involves a celebrity interviewee facing a wide-ranging group questioning session where all participants are autistic, neurodivergent, or have learning disabilities. During his segment, Fry fielded inquiries on various topics, including his religious beliefs, past struggles with cocaine addiction, and mental health challenges.
One particularly pointed question came from an assembly member who herself is in an age-gap relationship. She asked Fry, "What do you say to people who don't like age-gap relationships?"
Fry responded with characteristic candour, stating, "I feel a bit sorry for them. I don't see why they should have such an opinion about things." He elaborated that the only factor that should matter in any relationship is genuine love, provided it is mutual and not exploitative.
"Sod Them" - A Direct Message to Detractors
The former QI host went on to describe the dynamics of his own marriage, noting that Spencer, aged 38, actually holds more power in their relationship. "I always say to people that in our relationship, Elliot has all the power, really," Fry explained. "He makes a lot of the decisions about things because I trust him to. It just works for us, extremely well, and if people don't like it, well, sod them."
Fry and Spencer first met at a house party in 2012, announced their engagement in 2015, and married just ten days later. Despite their public profiles, the couple has maintained remarkable privacy around their relationship, rarely appearing together in photographs.
Historical Context and Parallel Responses
This is not the first time either partner has addressed criticism of their age difference. Back in 2015, Spencer offered a similarly robust defence, declaring, "I don't care what people think. Stephen is the love of my life, the light of my life."
Fry has previously credited his younger husband with expanding his cultural horizons. In a 2025 podcast appearance, he revealed that Spencer introduced him to the music of Kendrick Lamar, whom Fry now regards as "a great poetical spirit, a really remarkable figure."
Unexpectedly Personal Questioning
The Assembly interview took an even more intimate turn when Fry was asked about his preferred sexual position with his husband. Displaying his trademark wit, Fry responded, "Wow! That is direct as it gets," before opting to "leave that a mystery for people to guess."
Reflecting on the experience afterwards, Fry admitted he had been surprised by "the rather eye-watering curiosity as to my sexual preferences." He clarified, "Not sexuality, you understand – that was understood – but my preferences within that sexuality framework... well, I wasn't expecting that!"
Broader Programme Context
Fry is one of six celebrities participating in the new series of The Assembly, joining fellow participants including Lenny Henry, Nicola Sturgeon, Anna Maxwell Martin, and rapper Aitch. The final celebrity guest remains to be announced.
The first series featured interviews with notable figures such as Michael Sheen, David Tennant, Jade Thirlwall, and Danny Dyer. The programme has been described as "the most groundbreaking show of the year" for its innovative format and direct approach to celebrity interviewing.
The second series of The Assembly premiered on ITV1 on Wednesday 8 April at 10.05pm, offering viewers another round of unfiltered conversations between public figures and a uniquely candid panel of questioners.
