Comedian Jack Rooke, creator of the Bafta-winning Channel 4 series Big Boys, credits his grandmother Sicely with launching his career. Their collaborative show Good Grief, which explored their shared experience of bereavement after Rooke's father died of cancer, debuted at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2015. Now, Rooke is taking an updated version on a UK tour starting 14 August at London's Roundhouse.
A Childhood Spent with Nan
Rooke, born in Watford in 1993, spent much of his childhood with Sicely, an ex-dinner lady who picked him up from school twice a week. "She was a real prankster," Rooke says. "Her name was Sicely – 'Nicely but with an S,' she'd say." While his grandfather was strait-laced, Nan loved musicals, bingo, and understood creativity as catharsis. "She was very conscious of mental health and being emotionally available," Rooke notes.
The pair shared a rebellion against the family norm: neither of them drove. "Everyone else was either a mechanic or a black-cab driver, so it felt like a joint rebellion," Rooke explains. "When I was old enough to drive, I refused to learn because gays don't drive. Gays are born to be driven."
Food, Love, and a Mischievous Sense of Humour
Rooke never discussed his sexuality with his nan, but says that "being gay feels quite low down on the list of things about my identity that I am most preoccupied about. Grieving, or class or size, are far more prevalent." Sicely's love language was food, and she often used it to tease him affectionately. "There was one time I came home from school and opened the fridge. Inside was a big plate with a lid on top and a note saying: 'Homemade apple pie for you.' When I took the lid off, I realised it wasn't a pie – it was a stack of carrot sticks and a Post-it that said 'lose some weight' with a smiley face next to it."
The Birth of Good Grief
When Rooke was 15 and Sicely was 80, his father Laurie died of cancer. "We were experiencing this huge loss and both missed him in different ways," Rooke says. "Nobody was talking to us about it and everyone was being awkward." At university, Rooke – who studied journalism at the University of Westminster – asked his nan if she would talk about her grief on camera. "She was elated and so encouraging. I was the first person in my family to go to university, and she was chuffed to help."
On Father's Day 2014, Rooke and his university friends filmed conversations at Sicely's council estate in Harefield, west London. "At first she was reluctant to be filmed," Rooke recalls. "We had to make sure we got her right side, and eventually she warmed up. Often the most powerful stuff was when my nan was saying nothing. She would stare into space reflecting for a few moments and then say something like: 'At least we've got a fucking holiday booked.'"
Edinburgh Success and Lasting Impact
In 2015, Rooke took Good Grief to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. "It was on at four o'clock in the smallest room and I was out flyering every day. Within a week the first three reviews were all five stars. Nothing will ever beat that buzz." The show later became the basis for Big Boys, which won two Baftas. Sicely died suddenly before seeing Rooke on television, but he has preserved her memory through recordings. "When someone dies, they vanish overnight and it is so painful. Whereas with Nan, I can see and hear her whenever I want."
Rooke, now an ambassador for suicide prevention charity Calm, reflects on the ongoing role of grief in his life. "Experiencing a lot of grief early on means I've been to a lot of funerals. Sometimes I think that if my career ever fucks up, I'll become a humanist celebrant, as I am now the family's designated speech writer for funerals." He concludes: "I owe my nan my career. Good Grief was the first time I made something, the first time I could be creative professionally. And that all comes down to Nan."
