I had sex once this week and it reminded me why I'm single. Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from Meredith*, 27, a straight woman who works in marketing and has been single for two-and-a-half years, after breaking up with her last boyfriend because he cheated on a night out.
'We'd been together for a year and never had any worries until he messaged me and told me what he'd done,' Meredith tells Metro. 'It completely knocked my confidence, but still, I knew it was time to break up.' She adds that she enjoyed being single at first, but now she sees friends in relationships and wants that same companionship. 'I'd like my sex life to be with someone that I love – I'm over casual sex now,' Meredith continues. 'I want all the typical things like a house with someone, marriage and kids, so I've been really trying to date for about 18 months, but keep getting ghosted or guys just drop off after a date or two.'
Monday
I'm dating again, against my better judgement, as I'm fed up of being single. I embraced it at first, socialising constantly with friends and getting super fit, but I'll admit there's a void. The good thing is, a lot of my pals are single too. I plonk myself in my office chair and chat to my older colleague Martha about my dating life, which consists of running through a very long list of guys who have ghosted me on various apps. Currently, I don't have any dates lined up, but I match with some people at lunch, so fingers crossed something comes of it. If nothing else, a date is good practice. I head home to my flat and my housemate is already there making dinner. We eat pasta together and then watch Off Campus and fantasise together about what it would be like to have such a flourishing sex life. Once I'm in bed, I pull out my favourite Lovehoney vibrator which has a round flat head and put on my headphones, pressing play on a Quinn episode (audio porn) where the male voice actor is having sex in a car. The noises and moaning turn me on instantly, and it's not long before I orgasm. It's the perfect nightcap before I fall asleep.
Tuesday
I'm chatting with a guy called Max on Hinge. He'd messaged me after I fell asleep asking what my marathon PB is, given that my dating profile has two pictures of me holding my medals from London and New York. At 3 hours 50 minutes, he was impressed, and after sharing that he loves to run, he suggests we go for one together. I reply suggesting a drink first, as the thought of him meeting me hot and sweaty gives me hives, and he agrees we should meet at a pub tomorrow. I immediately get excited because he's also gorgeous; blonde, tanned and pretty toned, too. Hopefully he doesn't turn out to be in love with himself. In my experience most guys on these apps just want to talk about themselves. After work, I head to my local run club and we do a 5k, where I get to catch up with a couple of close friends, and they swoon over Max's pictures. I'll be heading to the date from work, so when I get home I pick a cute floaty dress to wear tomorrow before heading to bed.
Wednesday
I wake up late so I grab my makeup bag and fix my face in the office. The day drags but Max passes the first test (actually planning the date is something I've found guys aren't great at) and suggests a pub in Clapham. We both manage to turn up at the same time and have a bit of an awkward hi and hug before grabbing a drink. He's no catfish, and I feel a little bit insecure at first, but he tells me I have amazing eyes and compliments my dress. The conversation flows really nicely until after three hours we call it because we both have work the next day. He walks me to the station and says he had a really nice time before going in for a kiss. It's just the right amount of tongue, which makes me think he's done this many times before. But he tastes good, and I lean into it, enjoying the smell of his aftershave. He says he'll message me and I head home with a huge smile on my face. Finally, a Hinge date that didn't make me want to become celibate!
Thursday
When I wake up there's no word from Max, and I won't lie, it makes my stomach drop a little. I've been on so many dates where it all seems to be great, only to be ghosted after, and I can never seem to fathom why. The only comfort I get is it happens to my other single friends who are all gorgeous, so I have a feeling it's not a me problem. It's hard to shake that insecurity when you've been cheated on though. You wonder what someone else had that you didn't, and why they lost interest. Were you not pretty enough, were your boobs not big enough, did they just find you a little dull? My ex's excuse for sleeping with another girl on a night out was 'he wasn't thinking' and he was just really drunk — but I get really drunk and doing something like that never occurs to me. It didn't help that the girl he cheated with was the complete opposite of me. She was tanned, amazing dark curly hair and absolutely tiny, whereas I'm pale, blonde, tall and slim. I'm snapped out of my spiral when Max sends me a message at 3pm: 'Sorry, it's been a day. I had a nice time last night. Are you free on Saturday?' I'd planned to pop round and see my mum Saturday, but I hadn't told her yet, so I push those plans and agree to an afternoon cinema trip.
Friday
I work from home on Fridays, so I roll out of bed and sit in front of the TV with my laptop on answering emails. Max and I message intermittently, mostly about the obvious things you ask, like your favourite food, family, work goals – that type of thing. I go for a run at lunchtime before heading out for drinks with my uni friends in the evening. Three of us are in relationships and two are single. We spend most of the evening talking about whether or not one of them should break up with her boyfriend who abandoned her on her birthday in a bar after an argument. She definitely should, but it's been three years, so I get why it's difficult when you remember what they were like in the beginning. The bar is packed, and I end up locking eyes with a guy across the room. When I'm at the bar getting a drink, he comes over and asks my name. He's drunk but good looking, and soon we're making out as people half-dance half-stand and mingle around us. I don't get his number and he doesn't ask for mine, but I go home with a big ego boost. Until I'm officially dating someone, I'm going to embrace these single experiences.
Saturday
I sleep in then spend the morning doing my hair and makeup while watching the Real Housewives of New York City. Max and I meet up at 3pm and hug but don't kiss, before grabbing popcorn and watching our film. The movie is okay, and I feel his foot gently rubbing mine throughout. Once the movie is done he suggests a drink and dinner, so we neck a glass of wine and have some pub food for a few hours. Again, it's great, and I really start to get butterflies. I could see myself with him, and I catch myself hoping this is the first date of many, but I don't want to get ahead of myself just yet. After dinner we share a bottle of wine, and he kisses me multiple times as we chat about my friend's relationship situation. 'She should dump him,' he says. A major green flag. We end up heading back to mine because my flatmate is out, and immediately head to my room. Almost immediately we're taking each others' clothes off. I'm glad I wore a matching set, just in case. I go down on him and give him a blowjob, which I enjoy because I feel I'm pretty talented in this department. He moans and runs his hands through my hair. He flips me over and returns the favour, but I'll admit he doesn't quite hit the right spot for me. I do need tongue and fingers in tandem but I don't quite feel comfortable knocking his confidence just yet. Maybe next time. Then we start in missionary after he's popped a condom on. He doesn't kick up a fuss about it either; a low bar, but it's nice to be on the same page. He's also pretty big, which I'm happy about. Next I get on top, grinding in a way that feels good to me. He finishes and I don't orgasm, which is a little disappointing, but there's always room for improvement, I guess. He asks if can stay and I eagerly agree, then he spoons me until I fall asleep.
Sunday
We wake up and I'm grateful Max says he has somewhere to be today. He gets dressed and heads out, kissing me and thanking me for a great night. I have an everything shower and head out for lunch with a friend that I've had in the diary for ages. We gush about my night, and I tell her I might really like Max. When I get home though, I check my messages and my heart sinks. Max had sent a WhatsApp saying: 'Thanks for an amazing night last night, you're an amazing girl but I'm not sure I feel a connection there.' He goes on to wish me the best and says we should go our separate ways. I'll admit I didn't see that coming at all, and suddenly feel a bit stupid and deflated. This is why I hate dating apps, and exactly why I took a break from dating in the first place. I spend the evening in a foul mood, block him, and resolve to forget all about him. Back to square one.
