Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence and drug use, she has helped thousands of readers over the years.
Boyfriend's Porn Habit
A reader writes that her new boyfriend takes porn very seriously, accessing online action as a major part of his life. She admits she's not a prude and has watched some herself, but not to his extent. With her ex, they had a couple of sleazy DVDs they laughed at, and after wine and 15 minutes of clichéd action, they were turned on enough for real love.
But her new bloke is different. Sex with him is nasty because his tastes are hard core. She also hates that he regularly accesses porn at work – in the toilets during his lunch hour.
Jane says if she fears her new boyfriend is in too deep, he must be encouraged to turn to a health professional for help. She advises telling him she cares and fears for his emotional well-being, pointing out that things have turned sour and she's no longer having fun. If he reacts negatively or says she's the one with the problem, maybe he's not the guy she's looking for. She needs to make clear she's a human being with real needs who won't compete with the unrealistic, fake world of porn.
Workplace Theft
Another reader is surrounded by colleagues who take advantage. Two co-workers steal everything from her food to her ideas. She's the only one doing work. The woman opposite her expects her to have her back when she's late or fails to complete tasks. They've all been promised a bonus if they hit a target, and she's going to hit it on her own.
Jane advises writing down a list of gripes and taking it to the boss or HR department when ready. Be honest and say it's difficult to function and deliver in the current climate. Calmly explain that other staff are being unreasonable and ask to be moved so she can get on with the work she's paid to do. Jane says people like her colleagues only get away with backsliding for so long, and she can't believe the boss is so blind or unprofessional not to see what's going on.
Cheating Boyfriend
A third reader wants to split from her cheating boyfriend, but his fantastic love-making skills keep her chained. She knows he's sleeping with loads of other women because he boasts about it. Her friends say she's crazy for giving him time, love, and money, but she asks how a girl walks away from a living god.
Jane says the fact is she's just another number to this man. She asks what it's going to take for her to see him for the bad news he is: more lost money or a sexually transmitted infection. She and all the other women simply fuel his massive ego. Jane advises finding the strength to leave, saying sex will be even better with someone who genuinely loves her.
