When Sarah's son began struggling at his mainstream primary school, she never imagined she'd be forced to become a detective, lawyer, and full-time campaigner just to get him the education he deserved.
The mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, shares her harrowing journey through a system she describes as "deliberately obstructive" and designed to make parents give up.
The Breaking Point
"It started with small things," she recalls. "The school would call saying he was having 'meltdowns' but offered no support. When I asked about an autism assessment, they told me I was 'overreacting.'"
Her son's anxiety became so severe he developed physical symptoms - stomach aches, headaches, and night terrors. The school's response? More detentions for "refusing to engage."
The EHCP Battle
Applying for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) proved to be a bureaucratic nightmare:
- Endless paperwork requiring professional assessments she couldn't afford
- Six-month waiting lists for NHS autism assessments
- School resistance to providing necessary evidence
- Multiple rejected applications for "insufficient evidence"
"They make it impossible on purpose," she claims. "They know most parents will eventually give up."
The Final Straw
The crisis point came when her son's anxiety became so severe he refused to enter the school building. "They called me daily to collect him early. He was missing more education than he was getting."
When the school suggested a "managed move" to another school without an EHCP in place, she knew the system had failed them completely.
Taking Drastic Action
In a move that would terrify most parents, she made the decision to withdraw her son from school entirely. "It was the hardest decision I've ever made, but watching him suffer was harder."
She describes the immediate change: "Within a week, the physical symptoms disappeared. He started sleeping through the night. We saw our real son return."
The Home Education Reality
Now educating him at home while continuing the EHCP battle, she reveals:
- No financial support available for home-educated SEND children
- Constant pressure from local authority to return to school
- Complete responsibility for finding and funding therapies
- Social isolation for both child and parent
"I've had to become an expert in education law, autism, and therapeutic interventions. No parent should have to do this alone."
A System in Crisis
Her story reflects a growing national crisis in SEND provision:
- Record numbers of SEND children out of school
- EHCP application rejections at all-time high
- Local authorities facing legal challenges over provision
- Parents forced to crowdfund for legal battles
"This isn't just about my child," she emphasizes. "This is about thousands of children being failed every day. The system is broken, and parents are paying the price."
Her advice to other struggling parents? "Document everything. Never take no for an answer. And remember - you're not a nuisance, you're a parent fighting for your child's right to education."
