More than half of British parents (52%) say they would approach giving their child a first phone differently if they could do it again, according to new research from Lebara Mobile. The survey found 46% of parents feel worried about handing over a mobile device, and 24% rank it as the most stressful decision among major milestones, far ahead of getting a first car (12%).
Concerns over online safety
Excessive screen time, harmful content and access to strangers are among parents' biggest concerns, the research found. The findings come as social media giants face renewed scrutiny in US courts over the safety of children online.
Despite these worries, many parents feel a mobile phone is necessary for their 11-year-olds as they prepare to start secondary school for the first time.
Parental experiences
Anna, 44, from Surrey, gave her daughter her first phone when she turned 11, primarily as she started travelling more independently. She said: “The reason we decided for her to have a phone was primarily for her safety, to allow her to contact us and be contactable when needed. Also to allow us to track her, as we knew she’d be walking and using the bus without us.”
Anna chose to keep Facebook and Instagram off-limits and limit YouTube use but says there is no universal right age for a first phone. Her second child turns 11 in December, but she plans to wait: “It’s completely down to whether you think your child is ready. He is not ready for a phone, so we will be holding off.”
Advice for families
To help families navigate the milestone, Lebara Mobile has teamed up with Sim Shamu, Child Behaviour Specialist at pbsaba.co.uk, to provide practical advice. Sim says parents should treat a first phone as the beginning of a learning process rather than a one-off handover, gradually increasing children’s independence as they demonstrate they are ready.
Mayur Jauhari, Commercial Director at Lebara Mobile UK, added: “Starting secondary school is a huge step towards independence and, for many families, it’s when a first phone becomes a practical necessity. Parents want the reassurance of knowing their child can call home and stay connected, but our research shows the decision comes with plenty of uncertainty too.”
Five tips for healthy first-phone habits
1. Start smaller than you think. A first phone doesn’t need to mean unlimited data, apps and independence. Start with the functions your child actually needs and gradually increase access as they demonstrate responsibility.
2. Set the rules before handing it over. Agree when the phone can be used, where it charges overnight, whether it is allowed at mealtimes and bedtime, and which apps and content can be accessed.
3. Talk about content, not just screen time. Stay interested in what your child is watching and doing online, rather than focusing solely on how long they spend on their phone.
4. Keep phones out of the bedroom overnight. Charging phones outside the bedroom can reduce distractions, protect sleep and help children switch off at the end of the day.
5. Give them reasons to put the phone down. Sport, hobbies, time outside, games and family activities give children other sources of fun and connection, so screen-time restrictions do not become the sole focus.
