In a tale of criminal incompetence that seems ripped from a slapstick comedy, a wannabe bank robber's plans were spectacularly undone by his own appalling handwriting.
Anthony Denning, 42, attempted to hold up a Halifax branch on Lord Street in the seaside town of Southport. His master plan? To pass a hastily scribbled note to a cashier demanding cash.
However, the heist went immediately off the rails when the teller squinted at the scrawled message and was forced to hand it back to the hapless criminal with a simple admission: she couldn't read it.
Rather than making a swift escape, Denning – perhaps believing he was merely dealing with a temporary administrative hiccup – obligingly took the note back and tried again at a different counter.
The second cashier fared no better, utterly baffled by the illegible scribbles. At this point, the would-be mastermind apparently accepted defeat and fled the premises empty-handed, his criminal ambitions foiled not by armed guards or security systems, but by the basic necessity of legible penmanship.
Police were quickly on the scene and discovered the discarded demand note, which was later described in Sefton Magistrates' Court as so poorly written it was 'illegible'.
Denning, of no fixed address, was subsequently arrested and charged with attempted robbery. He pleaded guilty and has now been sentenced to a year behind bars.
The incident serves as a stark reminder that a successful life of crime requires at least one fundamental skill: the ability to make yourself understood.
