An American author and mother has publicly detailed her long-term involvement in a polyamorous relationship, maintaining committed romantic partnerships with two men alongside her husband of 26 years.
The Journey to an Open Marriage
Molly Roden Winter, a 53-year-old English philologist, explained that the decision to open her marriage came after a pivotal moment over a decade ago. She had been married for ten years when she met a man in a bar and felt a strong sense of desire for the first time in years. "I told my husband, and he said I should have an affair with him," Winter revealed. That conversation marked the beginning of their consensually non-monogamous lifestyle, a path they have now followed for 16 years.
Initially, the couple, who have two children now aged 20 and 23, established strict rules, including a ban on developing romantic feelings for other partners. However, both eventually found themselves falling in love with people outside their marriage. Winter asserts that this experience, rather than driving them apart, brought them closer. "We both fell in love, but that made us more confident and closer friends. Our experience became deeper and strengthened our marriage," she said.
Building a Life with Multiple Partners
Winter now maintains relationships with two boyfriends in addition to her husband. She emphasises that the foundation of successful polyamory is built on radical honesty, constant communication, and deep compassion. "We have no secrets in our marriage, and that gives us a lot of stability and security. It's a very beautiful thing," she noted, adding that their intimate life has also improved.
The writer has documented her experiences in a book, translated into nine languages, which explores how non-traditional relationships can coexist with a stable family life. She addressed her children's initial reaction to their parents' open marriage when they were teenagers: "They were 13 and 14 years old and were frightened at first, but when they saw that the marriage remained the same, they accepted it in the best way possible."
Challenging Conventional Norms
For Winter, polyamory is a natural extension of the human capacity to love multiple people. "We have love for more than one sibling, more than one friend or more than one child, but only in marriage do we say that you can only have one sexual partner," she argued.
She maintains that this lifestyle does not necessitate abandoning family or stability. One of her boyfriends lives in Australia, and they have maintained a connection for five years. "Sometimes we're lovers, sometimes we're friends," she explained.
Reflecting on the last 24 years of marriage and 16 years of an open relationship, Winter concluded: "My husband and I are still on this path. We have romantic relationships outside of marriage. And yet we are more connected to each other, and to ourselves, than ever before." Her account offers a compelling insight into a relationship model that prioritises emotional growth, trust, and intentional connection over traditional monogamy.
